When is enough enough and why does the world keep turning??

by Julie Kapeller
(Gladwibn, Michigan)

On Feb. 21st I lost my step mom of 28 yrs, beautiful soul to breast and liver cancer. Then June 15th 2010 I lost my best friend Fred of 20+ yrs to Lymphoma. June 29th 2010 I sat with my siblings and my Fiance and watched my dad leave this world; for 9 horrible hours we watched him slowly pass. On July 28th 2010 I had to put to sleep my friend, my unconditional love in my life, Jack the cat, of 11 yrs to kidney failure.

But yet people expect you to "just move on". Yes it's been rough but you are strong you can do this", that one I really can't stand, please don't presume to know how "tough I am" or "strong".

On July 21st 2010 I had major surgery to remove my ovary, again another :loss: another "set back". I have written on this webpage for Fred, my dad, and for Jack the Cat. But when you stop and look at all that's happened in the last 7 months it's soooooo overwhelming, yet I'm suppose to go back to work, keep up a house, when family and friends come around you put on that "happy face" and you wonder "how can it all just keep going, the world spinning"?

I'm not alone in these emotions, I realize that many people are in the same boat so to speak, but I woke up this morning after a night of seizures, no sleep, my body hurts and I couldn't help reflecting back on everything and wondering WHY???? and when does this ease up??

Sincerely

Julie Kapeller