When will it stop hurting?

by Russell
(UK)

We were together for 26 years and then she told me she didn't want me anymore. We told our family and friends, moved into separate rooms and put our house up for sale. But houses won't sell so easily these days and two years later we are still trapped.

We get on well, no fights, no nastiness, in fact now that she doesn't have to push me away she is the woman I loved all those years ago. She is kind to me and friendly. Nothing much has changed except that it's all changed because she doesn't love me any more; but I can't stop loving her.

Every day she is there, a heartbeat away, a living breathing reminder of what I've lost.
Just the other day I dreamed that she said it was all a mistake, that she still loved me; and in my dream I wept with relief and then I woke up tears streaming down my face and nothing had changed. It hurts so much.

Comments for When will it stop hurting?

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Oct 14, 2009
I'm sorry
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain. My fiance recently walked out on me after being together for over 7 years. I dream of her often, and in most of those dreams, she has come back to me after realizing she made a mistake. It's a crushing feeling to wake up and realize nothing has changed.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Sep 21, 2009
= (
by: Anonymous

Wow...just a heartbeat away you have your love, yet she is ungraspable. That is so hard. I'm so sorry you are going though this and have that physical reminder of her daily. I'm so sorry. I keep saying after reading everyone's story that I will keep them in my prayers and you are included.

I hope the pain will ease. I don't know when it will stop hurting, but know that you have a bunch of people on here who can relate and want to help somehow if we could only help ourselves. We're here for you.

Jul 20, 2009
I'm sorry
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry. Someone I loved left me and I still dream that it's all a mistake and wake up hurting even more. The pain never seems to want to go away. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. It seems like it's not fair, but we never know what's in store for us.

Jul 07, 2009
Stupid dreams!
by: Kelsy

I know what you mean with the stupid dreams that happen. Me and my ex broke up almost a year ago in august, and it started to get really nasty and he doesn't love me anymore, he hates me, for really not a lot of reasons.

I've had six dreams of me trying to convince him not to hate me, and a few where he's said he's sorry and he wants to be friends, and it was all a mistake. It hurts so badly when you wake up and know its not true, so i know EXACTLY how you feel there, you just wish it could end and go back to sleep.

maybe you should think about renting an apartment away from her, the next city over or something, just so you're not reminded of her every day you see her. It might help the process a bit and your house doesn't have to sell in order to get one...

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