When will it stop hurting?

by Russell
(UK)

We were together for 26 years and then she told me she didn't want me anymore. We told our family and friends, moved into separate rooms and put our house up for sale. But houses won't sell so easily these days and two years later we are still trapped.

We get on well, no fights, no nastiness, in fact now that she doesn't have to push me away she is the woman I loved all those years ago. She is kind to me and friendly. Nothing much has changed except that it's all changed because she doesn't love me any more; but I can't stop loving her.

Every day she is there, a heartbeat away, a living breathing reminder of what I've lost.
Just the other day I dreamed that she said it was all a mistake, that she still loved me; and in my dream I wept with relief and then I woke up tears streaming down my face and nothing had changed. It hurts so much.