When you left, it's like I left.

by Linsey Frances Bianchi<3
(Lake Station, Indiana, United States)

Left to Right: Me, Daddy, and my sister, Laura. <3

Left to Right: Me, Daddy, and my sister, Laura. <3

My dad hasnt been gone for a while now but ever since he has been gone my grades have been slipping from A's and B's to D's and F's. i dont want to tell my mom because i dont want to disappoint her any more than i already have. my dad left knowing my french grade, which was a D. Come to find out he was talking to my grandma and said "i dont understand, ma. shes smart as a whip. i just dont get it." i cry and cry and cry over that. i feel like he left disappointed in me. i feel like i let him down. im so disappointed in myself. i cant concentrate in school anymore. ive been getting into more trouble, being quieter. im just not myself. im only 13. my father had passed away from a heart attack. he passed about 13 days ago. just 13 days. and i feel like im ruined. forever. when he left he took a piece of me with him, i just cannot stand this. the feeling is unbearable. to anyone who still has their dad. you are so lucky. dont take it for granted. you wont realize what a great dad he is until hes gone.<3 i love you daddy. forever and always.

Comments for When you left, it's like I left.

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Oct 17, 2012
When you left, it's like I left
by: Anonymous

Linsey I am sorry for your loss of your daddy so suddenly. Please try and see the school counsellor or an outside counsellor and get the support you need. You are so young and should not have to have to handle this loss all by yourself. I feel that all the young people get forgotton in grief and they are left alone too much. This is wrong. You need to let your mom know what is going on. If she doesn't understand then find someone who will understand and be on your side. Your mom has lost a husband so she will have her own grief and may not be able to handle your problems right now. It doesn't mean she doesn't care. She is just preocupied with her own grief.
I am not surprised your school grades are low and suffering. This IS NORMAL. The sooner you get support the better otherwise you will not pick up in you school work and you may end up with depression that will only get worse. Take responsibility and get help for yourself. This is a very mature attitude to take for yourself. I lost my husband 5 months ago and I am struggling with grief and my children who are all grown up are suffering losing their dad and they are older than you. Everyone is going to understand. Grief is a horrible feeling for everyone. You feel crushed, and feel you can't go on anymore. If I was your age I don't know how I would cope. It is very cruel for children as young as you to lose a parent, and cope with school, and life in general. Pray to Jesus for him to Comfort you. HE WILL. If I didn't believe in Jesus I would find life more unbearable. Write back if you need to.

Oct 16, 2012
Find someone to talk to.
by: Donna

Linsey, My heart breaks for you. My father died of a heart attack when I was seven. I also remember what is like to be 13. You are not a disappointment to your dad, he was just frustrated like all parents can be at times. Remember he said you are as bright as a whip, he was proud of you. The loss of your dad will take a long time to accept. You need to talk to an adult for help at this time, if not your mother then maybe a counselor or teacher at school. Talk to your sister, she is feeling the same emotions you are. You will be able to get through this one day at a time. I'm sorry I can not help you more.

Oct 16, 2012
Take your time
by: Anonymous

Your loss is not that long ago and no one can tell you how long it will take to heal. You never will fully heal but things will get better. You should talk to your mom and let her know how you feel. I could be wrong but you sound like you are doing your best to get through the days and simply going through the motions. And there is nothing wrong with that. Don't push yourself because you need to let this process play out. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve but be mindful not to use it as a long term crutch. I really feel for you and I know what you are going through. I just lost my dad 3 months ago.

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