when

by Molly
(Canada)

To My Quinn

When does this become real?

When will my heart accept the sudden loss of you?

When will the tears cease to flow?

When will this aching pain in my soul go away?

When will I feel able to truly smile and enjoy a day?

When will I be allowed to stop pretending that my heart isn't broken and my soul isn't lost

When will this new normal, become my normal

Everyday, every moment, every second I can't believe that this is my life.

whose life am I living because mine has went away the day my love, my son my one and only died so sudden one day.

I am no longer strong, I am no longer confident. I am no longer happy and I care about nothing else.

I am empty and fake, I don't know who I am I think about dying daily and wish it to be true, something I used to fear I would welcome it with glee.

16 years of loving you leads to 9 months of missing you. what to do how to begin again,

Why begin again a life so empty it can never be filled.

Living on memories so sweet yet painful I just don't know when I will be able to be me again

or when I will see you again because that is when my life will begin again.

-Molly-

Comments for when

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May 02, 2012
When
by: Jeanie (USA-PA)

Hi Molly
I just lost my son suddenly, 29, brilliant and full of life, brought me so much joy when ever he was around or I heard his voice. He could solve any problem. He just figured everything out. It's been 30 days, and I feel just as you do. He was my everything. He built his life around helping and putting everyone else first. I prayed for 1-1/2 years that he would find the right doctors to help him. I cannot do anything now. The tears just flow and flow. He was so good to everyone. Now he is gone and my whole life crashed in. Nothing matters. All I want is him back. I don't want the memories. I want him back. I know that this cannot be. . . but I see no joy in my future. I truly feel your pain. Know you are not alone.

May 01, 2012
the awful pain
by: Cathy

Hi Molly, this is Brandon's mom, you have paid a wonderful tribute to your loving Quinn, the words are straight from my heart, i doubt we will ever be our old self because a piece of our heart is missing the day our loving child left us so suddenly, we can only be our former self, the day we will be united with them once again, i am putting all my things in order because i want to go as soon as possible near my angel.

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