Where Are You, Mom?

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Where Are You, Mom?

by Tony Franklin
(Bedford, Ohio, USA)

Mom, I lost you February 1st of this year, you were 85. The weather was horrible that night, an ice storm. You layed in your hospital bed barely breathing, in home hospice care was comforting your pain. My Brothers and I and your aide watched as you slipped away from us. Mom, where are you? I love you!!!!!!

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Where Are You, Mom?

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Why?
by: Tony

Why did she die in front of me? I wish I had never been there.

thanks!
by: Tony

It sounds as though you are moving on now, which is good, take care, hugs.

Comforting
by: Tony

It is some comfort knowing you care. I keep busy, go to Mass, clean up the house, run errands, just have lots of time in between to dwell. I come here to vent, so feel better for a while. thanks again.

Dealing with grief...
by:

Tony,

I know how hard it is to live in the house that holds so many memories. Though my honey and I lived in this home for 10 years it was our first house. The house that we never imagined that we would own. All of the furniture was 2nd hand. Each summer we had a project of sorts so each room that I walk into is a memory for me too.

I do not suggest it for you especially so early in grief, but I have cleared out all the clutter just to be able to paint the living room.
This brought many tears yet is helping me "start over". It is not for everyone most people would cherish every memory and think me insane the way that I am dealing with grief.

It is 15 months for me as of March 6th 2011 and this is my way of starting this new life. Most of the stuff was things that I collected or hoarded for years anyway. Paul had 4 plastic bowls and sheets for curtains when I met him.
A minimalist so I think he would be proud of me.

We all deal with grief differently. There is no way to hurry grief or rush through it. I wish we could just ride through each day. One after another but this is a long journey and there are good days and bad. Just hold on and come here often. We are always here to talk to.
HH

Thanks!
by: Tony

I found my sister dead in this same house, and my Dad ten years later, now my Mom, I actually witnessed her dying here. She is at peace I know, but its still so hard. I took care of her most of her last year, soo hard. I got things to do but don`t feel like it, soo hard. Everywhere I look around this house reminds me of everything, but I keep going, thanks.

read the book 5 minutes in heaven
by:

I stayed with my father till almost the end. I actually slept there for days. The hospice people wanted someone there. I do not want to picture those last moments. I told my brothers I can't be here for the end. I will never get it out of my head and sure enough it happened not more than an hour after I left. I am not sure why I tell you this except to let you know that that was only his body that gave out. I like to think that he is painting and hiking with my mom in heaven.

Doing all the things that they were not able to finish on this earth. Your mom is looking down on you keeping an eye out for you. She is no longer in pain and from what I have read on the afterlife it is unimaginably beautiful and peaceful. I am so sorry for your loss and your pain remember one breath one step at a time...
HH

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Where Are You, Mom?