Where are you?
Where are you is the first thing I think when I wake up this morning. Its been about a year and 2 months now and I thought things were getting better. I have been trying my best to have faith that you are in heaven. You are I know you are. But you committed suicide and all these things people say about it are really scary. I had the first dream of you last night since it happened. My friend came over and told me that you were not dead that you were living in Georgia with some friends. But the living circumstances are wretched. My friend and I got on a bus and drove to some kind of apartment complex. We walked along the sidewalk looking down into underground apts. My friend stopped and said "there is his apt." I looked at the stairway leading me down and it was bent and twisted into knots and I didnt know how I would reach you. Since this was a dream I was able to use superhuman strenght and untwist the stairs. We went down the stairs and my friend told me to wait outside. She came back out and told me you really missed me. I started crying and you came out. There were two strange men with you. They wanted me to talk to them but i had no interest in talking to anyone but you. I began begging for something to come back with me. You looked different. You had lost all your teeth and all that was left was black stubs and you couldnt talk i couldnt hear your voice you just looked at me and smiled. I went out again and started crying and i could not stop. You went in and started doing drugs i think it was speed and i kept saying that is the devil's drug and you wanted to leave with me but you couldnt. I woke up this morning and i feel more lost than ever. I know it is only a dream but why would i dream this? God wouldnt put a beautiful soul like yours in a state like this would he? Would he allow you to make the choice as to where you wanted to be after you were dead? Am i supposed to rescue you? It is true what they say about soulmates and that movie what dreams may come. I cant get over you I cant stop thinking about you 95% of the time. I deserve to have you with me again when i die and go to heaven you have to be there. Please God dont let this piece of me the other half of me be gone forever. I must see you again. I must be with you again.