Where are you?

by Denise
(Canada)

For Gazoo

For Gazoo

Where have you gone?

I've looked for you in all your favorite places.

There is no indent on the chair cushion you were just sleeping on,

But I keep checking anyways.

There are no prints on the freshly vacuumed carpet, or impressions left in the sunny spots,

But I keep looking anyways.

The air is empty, no creaking of the floorboards announcing your presence,

But I keep listening anyways.

My life is forever changed, empty, devoid of color..

Only silence winds around me now.

Where have you gone, old friend? You were just here..

I'd thought we'd have more time.

I'll stay here, and keep watch for you.

I'll keep watch, always.


For Gazoo;

http://www.northtorontocatrescue.com/in-memory/

Comments for Where are you?

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Feb 22, 2012
Beautiful
by: Kari

What a beautiful poem for a beautiful cat, Gazoo. I just lost my dog two days ago and found comfort in your poem.

Feb 21, 2012
In response to my previous Bailee blog entry
by: Lisa

Well, it happened. I did get a sign.. Really two. (second one to come later when I feel comfortable sharing it) I'm believe that this helped me to know that even though I wasn't there at her death, she's OK; I was stuck on this issue and still resentful towards the vet who didn't call until after. My best friend was calling and calling about a week after Bailee died.I didn't want to talk to anyone. I finally answered the phone a couple of days later, "I want to tell you something that will make you happy." I said, "Nothing is going to make me happy." Then she proceeded to tell me a dream she had 2 days after Bailee died. Her deceased mother (who I was close to) had Bailee with her and told her to tell me that. Bailee had died the same day as her mother died but 10 years prior. In the dream, she said, Bailee was wagging her tail ferociously like she did and was fine. My friend did not know that I was been struggling with not being there when she died. She cried and said "Mama was there Lisa; you didn't have to be." I cried and cried. Now onto the waves of grief when I do anything in the house! She was so woven into my daily life. I also miss being a mother. I don't have children or other pets and she was my special girl. I want to mother her again so badly!

Feb 20, 2012
My precious boy
by: Mommy

You died one year ago today. I've been sitting in the basement this afternoon with the little kitten you brought to me, remembering you. I know it was you who made him come into the backyard and eat the bread I threw out for the squirrels so I could see him just long enough to realize he was a kitten. And that he was starving. Only you could be so kind, to the kitten, and to me. You know we needed each other.

Where are you Gazoo? Are you in that other dimension I had a glimpse of, where the trees in the back looked like they were on fire but were not hot, when you walked in my room in the glow and I fell to you and hugged you. But I was allowed to only stay there just for a moment.

Are you here with me now, unseen in my reality? Are you with Shadow, comforting him as he adjusts to life 'inside'? He seems to prefer your favorite chair.

This last year has been full of so much change. Many times I felt your loss so acutely that I couldn't control the tears, driving in my car, sitting at my desk. The right people and circumstances seemed to enter my life exactly when I needed their support, and I think you had something to do with this too. I still feel your loving presence.

Old friend, you will never leave me. You will always be in my heart. Your lessons will always remain with me, guiding me to show greater compassion and understanding. I miss you so much Gazoo. Until we meet again my boo boo. I love you.

Mommy

Jan 25, 2012
They will come
by: Denise

For Lisa and Kathy;

Pray. Be still. They will come to you on the edge of sleep, to let you know that they are safe, warm and comforted. They are in His hands now, and you need not worry. Trust Him and find peace knowing this.

Jan 24, 2012
12 1/2 years
by: Lisa

Just FYI, Bailee (post below) was given to me officially 12 years ago and those years have been wonderful!!! Couldn't have asked for a more gentle and sweet girl!

Jan 24, 2012
Are you OK?
by: Lisa

Seems my block is that I want to make sure that my precious Bailee (beagle) is being taken care of or is OK. The thing about pets is that they never seem to grow up and always need us. She was my baby since i rescued her from neglectful neighbors. They asked me to pick her out from the litter since i was a "dog" person and i did. She was a gentle soul, i could tell. Frankly, as time passed I knew that i was her true mother. As i longed to care for her from our dining room window, my husband would say "Do not covet thy neighbors dog." I laughed and said, "But i am her mother!". She'd come visit and ask to spend the night and my neighbor would agree quickly. I took care of her through parvo and rescued her from the woods one day when her leash caught a tree and my neighbor said, "Well, she shouldn't have gotten away." She died 5 days and 10 hours ago and I wasn't there! The vet didn't call until it was over. And i was expecting her home the next day. I was supposed to be there comforting her as i always did. I'm asking for a sign that she is OK. But haven't gotten one. This post is comforting. And i'm still asking.

Jan 23, 2012
I feel what you feel
by: Kathy B.

Thank you for commenting on my tribute to my Jasmine. I, too, will my eyes to see her in her favorite spots, will my ears to hear her in the shadows. I pray every night that she visits me in my dreams, but she has not yet - I know she will. I have 3 other cats who also feel her absence and I focus on them now, and my daughter who is mourning in ways I cannot fathom.

Your poem was beautiful, and brings me comfort to know that I am not alone in my grief, or crazy for feeling so much pain over the loss of my cherished angel. I know that only time will lessen the pain, and I thank God for having people in my life who understand and support me in this time. I hope you do too.

Nov 27, 2011
Thank you
by: Denise

I too had the experience of feeling Gazoo jump up on my bed and lay down over my left shoulder and my chest - he laid down over my heart. I thought I was dreaming as well, afraid to open my eyes, afraid of causing the moment to end. He stayed with me until I fell back asleep. I know now it was not a dream.

I believe it was Gazoo's way of offering me comfort and letting me know, as you say, that he is peaceful and his Soul is at rest.

Thank you for your kind words. It is reassuring to know that someone else has experienced this extraordinary and loving phenomenon as I have.

Denise

Nov 12, 2011
Beautiful
by: Anonymous

Absolutely beautiful poem. I had to make the
painful decision to put our beloved dog, Snowball, to sleep after a terminal cancer was found and no possible cure for her. Our family
stayed with her till the end, she left peacefully
knowing she was truly loved. She will never be
forgotten. I too would "listen" & "look" for
her after she was gone, I actually felt her
jump up onto the end of our bed one evening...
I suppose it was a dream, or was it? Just one
last loving message from her to let me know she
was peaceful and safe. I believe that God will
reunite me with my beloved Snowball when I reach
heaven's gates. Sending you prayers of comfort.

We adopted Snowball from the Humane Society for
Animals, she was a beautiful white husky/collie
cross and was the most gentle loving friend,
our loving friend for 10 years.

Take Care from Wpg MB Canada

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