Where do Grandmothers fit in?

by Elizabeth Smith
(St. George, Utah)

My beautiful, and first grandchild, Collin, was hit by a car and killed while walking to school in the dark of the morning, exactly one month ago today on November 2, 2011. He was born just two years after my last child. He seemed like my own baby. I was the midwife at his birth, which also occurred in the early hours of morning. He was such an amazing, smart and talented young man. We celebrated his 13th birthday at a family gathering just two weeks before he died. Oh how I loved and still love that boy! Sometimes I feel guilty when I grieve as if I am being selfish while my daughter, (Collin's mother) suffers so terribly. I feel I need to be strong on behalf of my daughter, and comfort her, rather than seek my own comfort. I grieve not only for Collin, but also for my daughter. It is all so confusing. There is one thing for sure in all this confusion....we can feel the many prayers that are being said for our family. I can see a glow in my daughter's face despite her intense sorrow. I am so grateful for my knowledge that we will see Collin again.