Where is Everyone Now

by Pat
(Florida)

My son passed away Sept.20th, 2010. As the news got out my home was overflowing with friends & family.

The Holidays are here I'm still grieving the loss of my son, Thanksgiving was awful, I'm not looking forward to Christmas or the New Year, these are just the first of many Holidays coming without him.

At first friends & family would stop by or call it's not yet 3 full months since his death & everyone has moved on except me. It just seems like when you need people the most they're gone. I feel like I have some kind of a disease & nobody wants to be around me anymore. Yes I changed but I can not help it, I did not ask for this heart break & unbearable pain to enter my life but there's no way to ease it.

Comments for Where is Everyone Now

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Jun 29, 2011
I feel the same pain your feeling.
by: Debbie

I do understand your pain! We wished we could take that day back when my son Jeremy passed away June 27,2010. The phone never hardly rings anymore. Friends are not the same. You have that uncomfortable feeling when people are around you. Even my sister hardly calls anymore. Yes I do feel your pain! I am so sorry for your loss, my heart aches with you, and every parent who has lost their child. You are not alone!!

Dec 22, 2010
I have been exactly where you are now
by: Karen

My daughter was also killed in a car accident on December 5, 2009. I can not tell you how many times I said it felt like our family had a disease and no one wanted to catch it for fear their child might die. At the funeral home, the line was out the door. The attendants said they had never seen so many people and flowers. And here I am a year later and I feel like maybe she didn't exist except for the hole in my heart.

The only advice I can give you is, the pain does ease. I don't know how but it does. I don't cry every day anymore. Try to do something in your child's memory. I made extra flower arrangements to put into other peoples vases at the cemetery. It's not much but it does make me feel better. No one should be forgotten.

Dec 14, 2010
My mom is gone
by: Judy

She was 83 years old, and a lady all the time. She died on Dec 12th, 2010 at 10:14am. I do feel my emotions going through the 7 stages of grief, and I have my daughter, son-in-law, grandaughter and husband around me. I feel I can't handle any condolences because it just makes my emotions hurt more. I plan to stay home for 7 days, but I do say one thing and don't follow through. I am not dependable right now.

Once my mom was gone and the gurney was brought in, my family started to rush to gather all their things, and I felt so alone and angry that they were able to move so fast and assured, somehow. The funeral is today at 10am, I woke up at 2am, and still awake. I will not go to the funeral because my mom held on, at a hospice house, for longer then the doctor said, and I am not able to deal with any more pressure to support family and be supported by family. I am home to get relief from that pressure, and it works, and then again, it doesn't because I want to know what is going on with the prep and decisions and plans for the funeral of my mom.

I am depressed and have been since I was a child, and I look forward to feeling strong enough to move ahead in my personal life. I am an elder now, since both my parents are gone. ~~Judy~~

Dec 12, 2010
I am beginning to wonder too.
by: Karen

My 26 year old son was killed in a one car accident on October 30, 2010 and I am going through the same thing you are already. I fear that people don't want to talk about Adam or hear me talk about him either. People said they would keep in touch and call but the phone seems silent. Christmas cards are coming and no one mentions Adam.

It is so heartbreaking but so typical of "normal" people as they don't understand how life changing losing a child is. I had a stillborn son and now my 26 year old son. There is nothing left of my heart as they took it to heaven with them.

The only way I survive a day is one minute, one hour or one tear at a time. I miss his hugs, smiles, laughter and dimples too.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other and we will somehow make it through to another day. Karen

Dec 09, 2010
You are NOT alone...
by: Hope

Please PLEASE read on. Your experience is Normal.
Everyone does leave just when the numbness wears off and you Really Need someone. Feeling so very alone, Lost in grief.

People do experience grief differently yet there are common things that tend to happen to us all.
As you read you will find out that you are far from alone. We understand because we have experienced it in one form or another.

This is the only place that I feel safe saying what I think and feel without people being bored or uncomfortable. Please read and write it helps immensely.
HH

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