Where is God?

I am and always have been a very faithful person. I have always believed in God and a life in eternity. All that is lost as I live my life fifteen months after the sudden death of my husband. I am so angry with God. How can my life be so miserable, so sad? i was always a faithful person. Every day is a challenge, a day with tears, yet I go on and try to make the best of it. I am tired. I miss my husband. I miss my better half, my children's father, I miss my life. I am angry with God!

Comments for Where is God?

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Apr 26, 2013
Where Is God ?
by: Kristina Please Read

If you had the faith it takes to believe then you would know that the God who loves us only does what He knows will benefit us as He knows the future of us all. If your husband had that same kind of faith, he is with the Lord. I will not try to convince you of His existance. The world and all in it testify to His existance. Whether you beleive or not. May the God of all comfort be merciful to you and help you to beleive is my prayer. My son died and God saw Him do the thing that ended it. It was the pain that hurt him so that he needed to take his own life. To blame God is of no use as it will not bring him back. I prefer to believe and KNOW He is real because of the changes in my own life and the dear husband He has blessed me with after the death of my late husband. God be with you.

Apr 25, 2013
God is Everywhere! We need Him!
by: Doreen U.K.

I do feel sorry for those who don't know of God and how God works.
Adam and Even had a CHOICE. They sinned and so brought the curse of DEATH on the human race. God thus banished them from the Garden of Eden. As a result we humans suffer because of the sins of our first parents.
God had a CHOICE. He could have sent us all into oblivion. Cut off our air supply and let us not be able to breathe. God didn't have to give us Life, food, the ability to work, Love, marry, be born, etc. But He did! God then made a plan. He CHOSE to send his Son Jesus to the earth to Die for Mankind. He had a purpose. He had to give up His Life so that we can have Life. He held open his arms and died for the human race. He didn't escape the cross. Jesus was forsaken by God his father so that Jesus could feel the full weight of Man's sins in his body on the Cross. Nails through Hands. Pierced for us. (Mankind) He Bled and died for US. (His Creation). So that we could have eternal life if we accept Him as Our Lord and Saviour. WE HAVE A CHOICE. To BELIEVE. OR NOT BELIEVE. Think of it! Someone gave up their life for ME. So that I could Live and be FREE from SIN. And to have LIFE ETERNAL. Which means I will live forever in God's Kingdom and never die. But have Life everlasting. YES.! Now does this speak of a God without Love! YOU DECIDE!. I KNOW WHERE I STAND!

Apr 24, 2013
different viewpoints
by: Kristina

For those of you that believe in a loving God, consider yourselves lucky that you have that faith.

I do not believe in a loving God. I'm not sure if there is a God at all, but if there is then clearly s/he does not love me -- if s/he did, then s/he would not have allowed my husband to die, at age 40, one week after our wedding. Sorry, but nothing any of you say will convince me that there is ANY good to that, nor to any God that would allow it to happen.

Apr 24, 2013
God Knows..Love and trust Him
by: Charley

I lost my dear wife two weeks ago, and I didn't realize what I had. I know that she is with the Lord and that I will be with her for eternity. Ask God into your heart(if you haven't already) and ask the Holy Spirit to fill you. Thank God for everything, for He is in control and He knows exactly when our time is up. He loves you and your lost partner, and trust that you will see that one again. It's hard, but I am glad that we all have others to rely on and especially our Lord, who cares so much and knows our hurt.

Feb 08, 2013
Where Is God Author
by: Anonymous

God is where He has always been and His ways are inscrutable. He ALWAYS is at work in our lives and we must accept that He does what is best for us. I lost my son thru suicide. Where was He then? My son made the choice, not God. He was very ill and the victim of a horrible marriage... again his choice not Gods. Who do I blame God or free will that caused these things? Hard to accept? Yes, and I mourn all my son suffered thru but I know he is with our Lord, who knows what my son went thru and died for him so that he will never see the punishment his bad choices caused.
Safe in the arms of his Savior never to hurt again. This I firmly believe. You must not lose the the one who seeks to comfort you in your loss. Praise His ways which we will understand some day when we see our loved ones again standing near their Lord and blessing Him as He and they welcome us home. May He bless you.

Feb 08, 2013
where is GOD
by: silver

I cannot say that I ever lost faith in GOD. Quite the opposite. I began to go back to church and gained some peace there. I began saying my prayers each day again also. However, I can see how that will make you question GOD's reasons for taking a loved one home. In 18 months,I sent my father,my friend of 28 yrs,my mother, and my husband of 33 yrs.home to GOD. I know that the only thing that kept me from going crazy was my faith. Everyone has an anger stage in the grieving process and I am no different. I remember one day I was on the computer,was looking at the picture of my husband on the desktop and all of a sudden began crying and screaming at him.I asked him why did he have to leave. He has been gone 20 months now.I wake up each day wishing I could still talk to him,cuddle up with him,kiss him,hug him,listen to his quirky sense of humor,etc.I know I never will again. I look back now and wonder at my thinking.What did I think? that we would go together at the same instant.Then I realize how devastating that would have been to our children.My parents died 8 months apart and that was bad enough.In addition to that,I realized that GOD took them home when he did to help them.My dad had cancer and was beginning to lose kidney function and hurt. My mom had Alzheimers and I soon would have had to take her rights away from her.My dear friend was almost bed ridden and was in severe pain most of the time.My dear husband,had severe emphysema and they found a tumor in on of his lungs.This man who drove truck most of his life would have been confined to a chair w/oxygen and chemo.I would have been to terrified to sleep.All of them didn't have to go through those things.I pray every day for strength to go through each day without them.I send you prayers of love and for GOD to send you the courage and peace you need

Feb 06, 2013
ASK GOD TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU
by: LYNN

I TOO WAS ANGRY WHEN MY BROTHER DIED,BECAUSE MY BROTHER WAS MILDLY RETARDED, AND SUFFERED SO IN LIFE. I WAS HOT WITH GOD....BECAUSE EVEN THE DAY OF THE GRAVESITE FUNERAL WAS HORRIBLE,AND WE ALL GOT RAINED ON..THE WIND WAS FIERCE, THE CANOPY WOULDNT STAY UP.
.ON TOP OF ALL THAT ME AND MY MOTHER CAUGHT COLDS BY BEING IN THE RAIN, AND ALL IT HAPPENED 3 DAYS BEFORE THANKSGIVING........IT WAS THE MOST MISERABLE TIME OF MY LIFE----BUT EVENTUALLY I CALMED DOWN ---AND PRAYED

KEEP ASKING GOD TO SHOW YOU THE WHOLE PICTURE, AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO YOU ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONES DEATH. SAY, FATHER, PLEASE SHOW ME IN JESUS NAME ABOUT THIS DEATH.......SHOW ME EVERYTHING IN JESUS NAME ....
DONT STOP PRAYING--PERSIST IN PRAYER......AND GET QUIET.........SOMETIMES GOD TALKS TO US WHEN WE ARE QUIET, OR IN DREAMS

GOD GAVE ME A COUPLA DREAMS ABOUT MY BROTHER, AND SENT A MINISTER TO MY BROTHER 2 WEEKS BEFORE HE DIED TO TAKE COMMUNION AND STRENGTHEN HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST. HE DIED BY FALLING VIOLENTLY OUT OF A WHEELCHAIR WITH A HEART ATTACK-
THANK GOD I DIDNT SEE THAT, OR I WOULD HAVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED FOREVER.

--YOU WILL OFTEN BE MAD AT GOD AT FIRST.............BUT DONT STAY MAD FOREVER---IT DOESNT HELP WITH CLARITY OF THE SITUATION.

Feb 01, 2013
me too
by: Kristina

I'm sorry your husband died. So did mine, and I am as angry with God as you are. My husband died one week to the day after our wedding; we had been together for nearly 13 years.

My life is destroyed. I died when my husband died, only I am still inexplicably and unwillingly breathing. All I want is to die and be with him. By killing my husband, or allowing him to die, God (if there is one -- I'm agnostic) destroyed my husband's life and mine, and to some extent the lives of my parents and sister, since they love me and now I have no desire to live, no joy, no happiness, no hope, and so they mourn for me as well as for my husband.

I don't understand why (some) murderers and rapists and child molesters are allowed to live, and good people like my husband (and yours) are not. I don't see the point of life anymore, AND I don't even know if there's an afterlife in which I will be with my husband again. Sometimes I think there is, and I always hope there is, but I think it is cruel of God, if there is one, not to let us know beyond doubt.

Jan 30, 2013
Where's God
by: Anonymous

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my wife 10 months ago. I stumbled across Anita Moorjani's book (Dying to be me). I found more people like me on FB and have been invited to some forums where people go to find solace. It has helped me greatly. I posted on this site when my wife passed but I found reading about NDEs (near death experience) really woke me up. Anita's book will give you some insight as to where God is.
Our time here will pass and all of us will be with God and our loved ones again. Have faith and know you are loved.

Jan 30, 2013
Where is God?
by: Doreen U.K.

You are not alone. My husband of 44yrs. died of lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. His cancer was terminal. He had no chance. But because I believed in God and had a strong Faith I pleaded and prayed to God the healer. I sent emails all over America for healing for my husband and times he looked as if he had a miracle. I did not say good-bye. I sat patiently waiting for this miracle of healing. Instead I saw my husband draw his last breath. I was so angry with God and still am at times. GOD HEALS. Why didn't He heal my husband? I watch the God channel still and see the excitement of those people declaring a miracle of healing. I turn the channel over. I shout to God. Why didn't you heal my Steve? He wanted to live. He felt God didn't love him because he was going to die. I had to watch is sad pleading face which said "I don't want to die." "It's not fair." I feel robbed of a husband. I can still feel the Panic. I was so sure my husband would recover and receive a Healing. It says in the Bible that God is not a respector of persons. Yet some people are healed and some are not. May God comfort you in your sorrow and bring you Peace.

Jan 30, 2013
Where is God?
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

I can understand you're being angry with God. I lost my husband of 46 years 19 months ago. I asked God, Why me? I joined a grief support group through my church and even though I still have a hard time accepting, that my husband is gone; I can now say, Why not me? He died from a massive heart attack and I hear stories from others on how their loved ones died. He died instantly. I didn't get a chance to even prepare myself for his death; yet I don't feel we are ever able to prepare ourselves for the death of a loved one.
For me, my faith is what helps me get through each day. My faith teaches me I will see him again and that is what keeps me going. I am waiting for the day to see him again. No, I do not want to die, like I did 19 months ago, but I no longer fear death, if it means seeing him again. We all are going to die and I never really thought about it much. It always happened to someone else. When it happens to us, it sure changes our outlook on life. I appreciate everyday, still wishing my old life back. I know that will never be, so I am trying to just take it one day at a time.
A dear friend of mine sent this to me after my husband died. She had lost her husband 6 months before. "When you lose someone you love, you never quite get over it. You just slowly learn to go on without them,always keeping them tucked safely in your heart." This is so true.
I cherish my memories. I am grateful to have had him in my life. I wanted to grow old with him and enjoy retirement with him. That was taken away from me, but I do have adult children and grandchildren. Nothing or no one will ever take his place in my life. I will always love him and I told him in the hospital, after he was pronounced dead,after I held him in my arms, that I was never going to say goodbye to him. He spiritually is always with me. I feel his presence and he does give me signs that he's watching over me.
God didn't leave us. God is walking with us, sometimes carrying us, because we don't feel like we can go on without our loved one. Going on without our loved one is the hardest thing we may have to do. Our life is forever changed, but we do go on. I used to say,"I am faking it until I can make it'" I am making it. It is not the life I would choose for myself, but God has given me this life AND I AM GOING TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT.
Grief is horrible. We have many ups and downs. We will always have this ache in our heart for our loved one. It is normal to be angry with God. God understands and he never will abandon us. Sometimes we feel like he has. But he hasn't, we just have to reach out to him, he's there for us.

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