by Anonymous
(Chicago, IL)

I subscribe to a daily email for grief. The web www.griefshare.com has helped me out almost as much as this one. Today's email really hit home. I've been asking myself this question for the last month.
"Who am I?" asks Heidi. "I had identified with my husband; I had become one with him. Our hopes and dreams were together. And now what, who am I?"

When you are confused and uncertain, and you don't even know who you are anymore, remember that these feelings are expected with the loss of a spouse. Spend time working through these bewildering thoughts, and don't rush this process.

Trying to skip steps on your grief journey will not aid your healing; it will only set you back. Your identity is not gone; it just needs to be REDISCOVERED.

"Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture" (Psalm 100:3).

Happy Easter ~ Happy Spring :)

Comments for WHO AM I?

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Apr 23, 2011
Who Am I?
by: Hope

I seems that when we lose a spouse that was our better halves were feel so lost without them. Rediscovering yourself is the perfect term for what we seek. Yes we want relief from grief but we stand there wondering...well, what now?

We need to find the part in ourselves that once enjoyed life, it is a struggle. We all struggle with the same identity crisis. Wondering "Who am I now that part of me was torn away?"

Please come here often, It has been my life raft in the long horrendous journey of grief. Without these people I surely would have drown in my sorrow. One those who have traveled this road can really understand. Always one breath one step at a time.

Apr 23, 2011
Who am I?
by: M Mack


The fact is that none of us will ever be the person we were before our loss. You can't just bump off the life we had no matter how long they are gone. Not only have I learned alot about myself, I realize that all your friends and family don't understand you the way the people here have. So often when I read other posts, they are my words exactly. These people are my friends...... they have heard my cries for help and consoled me when I really needed it. Before my loss and this journey, I wouldn't even consider pouring my heart out to complete strangers. I know I am not the same girl I was and am desperately trying to find out who I will be after 9 months of grieving. Take care and find as much comfort out there as you can. Thanks for your post.

Apr 21, 2011
Who am I?
by: jules

Anonymous and Kim - go into the blogs in "spouse and lost love" area - read some of the posts,you will see that we are all just trying to get through this the best way we can, we on here support each other - understand each other - and in my case I consider some of the people on here my friends - they certainly understand what I am going through more than my family and close friends, even though they try hard.

Every day - one step, one breath - that is how we get through
take care

Apr 21, 2011
Thank You
by: Kim

Almost seven months in, I too am trying to figure out who I am. Trying to find oneself at 51 years old seems like a mid-life crisis issue. I only wish it was a mid-life crisis and not the anguish of crisis due to losing my husband after almost 32 years together. I am so desperately searching for a way to redefine myself, and I just keeping going back to how it used to be, how we used to spend time together, and the places we would go, or would have gone, together. I couldn't even respond to the request to tell them about myself at a job interview recently. I was at a real loss as to what to say. the interview went on a bit, then I was asked again to tell them something about myself. Fortunately, they all knew that I'd recently lost my husband, and all I could say was that "I'm trying to figure that out right now, I'm trying to redefine what that is." That will be a journey, running parallel to the journey of grief, that I hope will come naturally with time, and with exploration of new interests. It's so hard, because I so want to hang onto what I've lost, but I will hang onto most of it, but I'm here by myself now, and have to rediscover. Good luck to you, and to all of us. I would love to hear about how everyone here has worked this out and what they have discovered about themselves along the way....??

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