Why Can't My Life Be Normal Again?
I was in 6th grade and suddenly got called out of class to leave, and I had no idea why. My little sister and I were driven by my friend's mom to a hospital, where I saw all of my family standing and crying. I started to cry because of this, though I didn't know what was going on still. I was taken to a room, with my mom and dad crying so much, but the one person not there was my older sister. It hit me. She had been hurting in her hip the last couple days very badly, but doctors told her she had only pulled a muscle.. they were wrong. She had an infection that spread from her hip to her heart, and it was too late to help. I felt like this was a dream, it couldn't really be happening.. not to me. But that was 4 years ago, and I haven't gotten to joke or laugh with her like I used to since then. I always cry and cry thinking "My life was close to perfect before this happened and I want it back. I want her back." She would do my hair and pick out my clothes and always play with me; she was the ideal big sister. It's horrible to go from having someone to not having them anymore, and not being able to do a single thing to get them back. I wasn't expecting to lose her, no one was. My life has fallen apart piece by piece since that day. My parents are now divorced, and my dad has a new family. It's like he didn't want us anymore, because he didn't want the life we were about to face. I feel so alone sometimes, and it's really hard for me because those are the times when I'd sleep in my big sisters bed because she'd invite me in. Now my little sister and I are distant. We both love each other, but we both lost a sister, and it's changed everything about us and our lives. I feel like I have so many things to be mad at, because so much has gone wrong. I still go back to that day and wish that when I thought it was a dream.. it really was.