Why Did I Have to Witness This?

by Nick
(New Jersey)

It was 5:50 AM, on Thursday, December 17th, 2009. I woke up, feeling a little uneasy about everything. I began to take a shower, eat breakfast, and get ready for a normal day of school. It was about 6:40 AM, when I recieved a phone call from my mom, who was staying at my grandparent's house the night: All she said was, "Get your father and get over here quickly." My stomach twisted with complete disgust, as I knew his time has come...

Before I move on, I will give you a little background. In June, 2009, my grandpa found out he had cancer, along with brain tumors. For months, he has been fighting cancer, but progressively getting weaker. The doctors tried to reduce the size of the brain tumors, but it did not work. Recently, he broke his arm when he fell, so he went with Hospice. He got a big bed in the living room, where he was on a heart monitor and an oxygen tank.

Now, to continue with my story. We rushed quickly over to my grandma's house, and the look on my mom and sister's faces were terrible. The heart monitor still shown a steady pulse, so I was confused. It didn't seem like anything bad had happened. That was, until, I heard a change in the pulse. I quickly looked at my grandpa, and tears began to well up in everyone's eyes: I am only 14, but I knew what was going on. All of a sudden, in the slowest minute of my life, I heard a loud, long, beeping sound. My grandfather had just died in front of me... I never witnessed a death before.

Right after he died, people began to cry and scream. I just stood there, in shock and disbelief. I didn't know what to say, or what to do: my mind was all fogged up! In the midst of the crying, I managed to scream out "No!" I fell onto all fours, and cried like I never have cried before. Witnessing the death of my grandfather has been too painful for me.

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Dec 18, 2009
Bless your heart
by: Jennie

As horrible and hard as it was for you to see your Grandpa die, your family did right to include you in the gathering as death grew near.

Small children are too young to understand and it would just scare them, but at 14, you are old enough to understand this aspect of life, and nothing would be gained by sheltering you from the reality of his death.

Bless your heart, this just happened yesterday! This is sure to feel pretty scary and traumatic for you. But turn to your family for support, talk about your sadness and loss, and eventually your Grandpa's death will find it's way into the background of your consciousness.

Please hang in there, Nick, there are better days ahead for you. I send you my condolences and best wishes for a successful bereavement.


Dec 18, 2009
Sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

You poor thing,
Death is hard and when you see it, makes it all the worse but they tell me it gets better. I have no words, as I am still grieving the loss of my daughter 7 months ago...all I can say is hold on and talk to people.
So Sorry for your loss

Dec 18, 2009
My condolences
by: Anonymous

My deepest condolences. I know that words cannnot ease your pain. Grief is very deep and it will take time for you to process. And yet, gratitude helps - be grateful that you were there to say goodbye. Be grateful that you had your grandfather in your life. Be grateful that you can feel your feelings. This makes you a person who will live to love as deeply as you grieve.

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