Why Did she have to Suffer?

by Evelynn Aguilar Bailey
(San Antonio, Texas)

Two and half years ago my Mother was given 3 months to live. She had been misdiagnosed so badly and so many times by the time they had found the ovarian cancer it had spread. We thanked the Doctor for the correct diagnoses and took a couple of weeks to visit other doctors who would give us more time. We found one willing to work with her for more time and after a long and risky operation and chemo she had a 6 month remission and we went to Disney World. I should be feeling grateful, I know.

She requested an at home hospice experience after the chemo stopped working. My sister quit her job to take care of her and I quit my job too towards the end. The hospice people were angels but the process seemed so cruel. I just watched my Mother suffering, getting medicated and waiting to die. It was degrading and maddening, toward the end I prayed for the release that only death would bring her. We were all there at the end but she had really been gone for a while. Not really here, not really there. There was no drama, we all played our roles as we should and now it's over.

We buried her 3 days ago and I am plagued by nightmares and the inability to focus. The friends, calls and cards are dwindling and I am just left with my numbing grief.

Comments for Why Did she have to Suffer?

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Aug 18, 2010
in sympathy
by: a daughter

I understand how you feel. My mother passed away on July 21 of this year. She was in ICU for 3 weeks, a total of 4 weeks in the hospital. She had been on dialysis for the past 3 years because of lupus. I was very close to my mother. Unless you have gone through something like this you can't understand. I pray at some time you find peace and that you have the strength to go on each day.

Aug 15, 2010
by: Anonymous

Please accept my sympathy and prayers during this sad time in your life. I went through nearly the same thing July1st until the 21st, 2010. My brother had been to different doctors and finally we learned he had cancer. It was
very advanced. He also went home to wait under
the care of Hospice. The next 12 days were a
nightmare of worry, tears, and waiting. When he
went into a coma, I prayed for God to hold him
and let him be at peace. On the night of the 21st
he went home to heaven. I am grieving and i miss him, can't really believe it.
May God bless you and strengthen you, giving you the grace you need now. We that have gone through this terrible experience, know how you feel and you're in our prayers.

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