Why did you go so suddenly?

by Moby

My mother passed away Dec 28, 2009. She had gone to another city for a funeral. She got sick and was taken to the hospital. They said it was not serious and she was getting better, but she died a week after going to the hospital, she was almost 73. I am married and live in a different city but she had my divorced brother with his two kids and my divorced sister with her young son living with her and my father. She was an energetic problem solver.

Now with her gone, being the eldest I feel responsible for them even though they are adults and I live in a different city.

My grief for my mother who I was very close to, is compounded by my anxiety for my father and siblings. My father is the opposite of my mother. He is quite dry and not as family oriented as my mother. Every morning I get up with a feeling of desolation and despair and intense worry for my family. I am depressed and feel my mother's sudden departure was such a waste and maybe we could have done something to prevent it.

My husband thinks if I continue like this I will develop health problems and "destroy" myself. I am trying to keep myself busy but it does not seem to be working.