Why did you go so suddenly?

by Moby

My mother passed away Dec 28, 2009. She had gone to another city for a funeral. She got sick and was taken to the hospital. They said it was not serious and she was getting better, but she died a week after going to the hospital, she was almost 73. I am married and live in a different city but she had my divorced brother with his two kids and my divorced sister with her young son living with her and my father. She was an energetic problem solver.

Now with her gone, being the eldest I feel responsible for them even though they are adults and I live in a different city.

My grief for my mother who I was very close to, is compounded by my anxiety for my father and siblings. My father is the opposite of my mother. He is quite dry and not as family oriented as my mother. Every morning I get up with a feeling of desolation and despair and intense worry for my family. I am depressed and feel my mother's sudden departure was such a waste and maybe we could have done something to prevent it.

My husband thinks if I continue like this I will develop health problems and "destroy" myself. I am trying to keep myself busy but it does not seem to be working.

Comments for Why did you go so suddenly?

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Jul 24, 2010
december 28th, 2009
by: dorette

My mom passed away that very same day as your mom! My mom had lung cancer, we found out she was sick w/ pneumonia in October, then they did a lung xray and saw cancer behind her heart!!!

She also had cancer in her hip! we had a great Christmas i hope you did as well!!! take care my sympathy is w/ you... take care dorette you can e-mail me if you would like to

Jul 10, 2010
She Will Always Be There With You
by: Evangelina Blancas Galindo

I can understand your pain and send you all my sympathy, as I too have been where you are now.
I thought my mom was invincible, she could never die, but diabetes got the best of her and quickly overtook her, and in pieces she left us, as the disease slammed her into her coffin.

The worst was watching her, for a year, being cleaned and as i watched the nurses put both their fists into her wounds, i thought , i would not live thru that.

I went to the moon for about a year, after her death. I could not function, not work , and i was so angry with God, humanity, faith, love, the world and the universe.

How could such a wonderful, kind , loving , giving delicate soul, be taken so cruelly, and quickly.

I swear i did not think i was going to come out of the sadness. But i have.

I dream about her often, sometimes that she comes down an elevator and wants to see me and talks to me about how she is really ok.

And one time i thought i had heard her voice calling me from the kitchen, and that was when i was in a time of financial sadness.

She is always with me now. In my heart, but i always wondered why evil doers were allowed to go on breathing and my lovely mom didn't have that opportunity.

I will never know the answer, all i know is that this happens, and now years later, i guess i have accepted it. But she will always be with me.

Its ok to feel how you feel and know that one day you will also accept your moms passing, and know she is ok. And I truly believe she will always be with you. No matter where you are, or what you do or wherever you should go.

And when your time comes, she will come for you, the way my mom's mom came for her.

I hope my mom is there when it's my turn as well.

Me and my mom send you lots of love, hugs, and best wishes for your future. You may write me if you would like to talk about your mom. Meli12385@yahoo.com .

God Bless You.

Jun 13, 2010
by: Anonymous

Grief has to run it course. I lost my mother when I was 15, my baby girl when I was 21 and my father when I was 26. You would think I would be good at this by now. I lost my 27 year old son on May 21, 2010. I know that time heals all but I think my clock broke. I am stuck in my grief.

You are right, staying busy helps but you also have to let yourself feel the pain. Holding it in can make you ill. I think after time if it does not get better then you might need to rethink your options. Cry when you need to and talk about it as much as you can. I am giving this advice to myself also because my pain is great right now. May your mother rest in peace.

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