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WHY HER???

by Miranda
(Beaver, OH)

I am still trying to deal with the death of my mom 9 years ago. She died at the age of 44 from the disease lupus.

I often wonder why her? She was the most positive person that I know. I haven't dealt with her death at all. When her name comes up in a conversation, I always change the subject. I haven't been really living since her death.

I just want to be able to be happy again. I know that she would want me to live life to the fullest but I just don't know how anymore. Is grieving this long normal?

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WHY HER???

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What is normal?
by: Katy

One thing while grieving is that normal doesn't exist anymore. You are living a new life, it seems like. Ask youself "What is normal? Was anything normal?" Right now until you are able to let her rest in your heart, you most likely won't find that peace you are searching for.

I believe that she was called to go to heaven and she left many blessings in this world. Most moms will be content to know that they were a blessing in this world. I know how hard it is, I lost my mother almost 2 years ago.

I was very close, she knew just about everything that I did, thought, and wanted to do. I miss her and still have bad days, but living life is what they prefer you to do. What people say is to go out with people and try to enjoy yourself. I know that can be very difficult, but I hope that seeing how you are loved can help.

Remember she was and is a blessing for everyone that was around her. So stop searching for the norm and look for who you are becoming and what you will be. Something like a death will not leave you without change, especially if you have deep feelings for them.

I pray that you are having a better time, and pray that you can have that peace that you are searching for. God LOVES YOU. Hope this helps.
I lost my Mom to cancer....
by: Christy

I lost my dear Mom June 19, 2008..her 1 year anniversary is sneaking up on me and I am really having a hard time dealing with the reality of it all.

She died of a long 2 1/2 year battle with cancer. She fought for her life just so she could spend it with her family that she loved very much. I can't even say she lost the battle, because she gave it 110%. I watched the glowing sparkle in my Moms eyes fade to a dull lifeless despair of hopelessness. I can't remove that from my memory.

It still hurts. My Mom went from a beautiful 53 year old woman to a 90 year old elderly lady who looked as if she came out of a concentration camp. Cancer can be an ugly, devastating, reckless death sentence. My loss will never get any easier, I will just get used to it but just not right now.
I'm sorry
by: Anonymous

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mom. She was so young. In your story you ask why your grief is lasting so long. I think it may be because you are not allowing yourself to grieve. I did that after my Mom passed away. I felt weird, like I was numb or didn't have feelings.

And then by itself, my feelings started to change. I started to cry all the time, I started to think about her more, I started feeling anger, guilt, sadness, all at the same time, or alternating. I started having dreams about her every night. My advice would be to just let it come. Whatever you are feeling or thinking at the time, don't block it or change the subject. Hopefully that will help you through the grieving process.
Celebrate Her Life
by: Connie

We all deal with a mothers death in different ways. I can only tell you how my sister and I are handling the loss of our own mother. It has been 15 years and I just had a new grandchild. It saddens me that Mom won't hold her, or read to her or rock her to sleep. But I remember with great joy how happy it made her to hold my own daughter and read to my own daughter and rock my own daughter to sleep. Thinking of that brings both a tear to my eye and a smile to my face.

When my family is together we spend much of the time laughing until tears run down our faces at something Mom did or said.

Allow yourself to cherish the joyful happy times you spent with your Mom. Don't shut her memory out.
You are not alone
by: Anonymous

I have too lost my Mom this year and yes it is the hardest thing to go through and let me tell you there will be a day when you are by yourself, or even in a place where you are so aware of your surrounding and that is when your MOm will have sent you a message. You will feel at peace with it. Right now you are trying so hard to be able to feel or even feel her presence.. You are in my prayers.. D

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