Why I hate New Year's Eve

by Hillary Hillanbrand
(Eagleville pa USA )

I was 9 when my father died I'm now 18 . He died on New Year's Eve and I didn't see everything I felt like I lost my heart I was daddy's little girl and on that day it was terrifying my mom sent me around the corner and I cried my self to sleep on her friends couch they work me up around 4pm and I went to my cousins house afterwards to wait for my mom to get home from the hospital even though he died at 11:55 5 mins before 12 anyway after she got home my whole family was at my house by the time I got there and I walked in to my mom shaking her head crying I didn't know what was going on until my brothers ex girlfriend hugged me and said baby he's with god after that I didn't know what to think I was so upset and tired I just cried out to god to bring him home with me and I just cried and cried my brothers had to hug me to try to calm me down but it didn't work ...the day of his funeral I wrote a letter and I couldn't even read it because I didn't want to believe he was gone . I walked home from school and swear I seen my dad in my window so I ran in and he wasn't there I still to this day cry it's really hard to believe he will never come back

Comments for Why I hate New Year's Eve

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Sep 28, 2014
Hi Hillary, I need your help!
by: Jennie

I am so very sorry for your loss, my condolences. For better access to advice and support, please click on "The Grief Club" button on the left for access to the new Forum. We want to keep this great online grief resource going and need your help! Please re-post this or put a new submission there. All your friends are waiting...

Hi Pat from Green Bay, and Anonymous MI:

Could you please contact me via "Contact Us" button to the left? I need your help for the transition. Thanks so much!

Sep 19, 2014
why I hate New year's eve
by: Anonymous

Hillary, I am sorry for your loss. You were so young when you lost your dad and I can't imagine how difficult it must have been. I am 48 and my mom died in June and that was hard enough for me, but as a child I can't imagine the pain that you felt. Just as I believe with my mom, your dad is always with you and he gives you little signs. Maybe you did see him in the window.
The day after my mom passed I pulled into my apartment complex and a tiny flower came out of nowhere and landed on my lap. I believe that was a sign from my mom. Your dad is around, you just can't see him. Be open to signs he gives you. I know New Year's is a hard day, but maybe when the clock turns midnight talk to him, wish him Happy New Year and let him know how much you still love him. He will be there.

Sep 19, 2014
Why I hate New Year' Eve
by: Doreen UK

Hillary I am sorry for your loss of your dad at such a young age when you were too young to process death, dying, and losing your father who is a strong influence in a child's life. You may also feel as if you were left out of what was happening and no one sat you down and gave you the attention you needed. Sadly this all to often happens when everyone is dealing with their own grief. You have matured now and will feel lost, confused and angry at losing your father. You could go and see a grief counsellor to help you move forward and deal with any repressed feelings you had around that time 9yrs. ago that may be trapped and causing you difficulty in moving forward. Nothing will change if you don't deal with repressed memories. They can interfere with on going life and cause one to become stagnated where they are. Once you do the counselling your mind set will change and your internal world will feel so different. You will also be able to move forward better. You may also lose your hatred for New Year's Eve. You may be able to embrace future New Year's with HOPE, and be able to implement changes that will allow you to plan how you want your New Year's to be in the future. Putting in some New Year's resolutions of how you want your life to be. You can write your own contract of how you want life to be. We all have to move on in life and Life is what we make it. We can make it better or bitter. WE have that choice. Embrace the idea of change and make it a fun experience. Don't let the past influence your future to make it better for you. You are so young to put your life on Hold. It is your birth right and Heritage to enjoy your life and make it successful

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