Why me?

by Theresa
(California )

It's hard to tell this story but I'm going to. I met someone through a friend I had for many years. I trusted her opinion and thought she cared about my future and well being enough not to set me up with a total d bag. I agreed to meet at her house for a casual meet me dinner.

I met him our eyes locked and our date was sealed we went on a first date and had instant chemistry. I was on cloud nine. I fell more and more in love wih this person that the thought of spending my life with him made me happy. I felt excitement.

Time went on and we spent a lot of time together doing fun things. We decided to move in together. It was great we bought a new bed and began our life.

He had just bought a duplex and it needed to be remodeled so I got on my scubs and helped him remodeled every bit of it from top to bottom day after day for months and years on end. I even hired family free of charge to help him remodel his home. He needed two central air conditioners and new furnces for the place. Who came to help on that? Me! I had a connection where he could get a really good deal on these conditioners and furnaces. I even gave him a couple thousand dollars to help out. He told me that by me helping out it was an "investment" for my future.

Prior to us remodeling we found out we were pregnant. He was so happy, I was happy. Then. We lost the baby. Things changed with him. He grew distant.

I still continued to give my all because I was devoted to him heart and soul.

We lived our lives summer and winter and then summer again, as we reached fall he looked at me and said I love you you're my soul mate. We bonded and were happy.

That next week he grew distant again on Friday of that last week he stopped talking to me. Wouldn't say anything. He didn't come home that Friday after work and refused to call or answer any calls.

I went out to take a drive I come home about 10pm and he is in bed. I come to his bed side for him to say. " I want you to move out ".
Instantly my heart sank I felt sick I couldn't think. I began to cry and he got up put his coat on and left. He refused to speak to me for days. I just wanted to know why.

Finally a week later he agreed to see me. I ran into his arms thinking he still had love for me but he was cold, withdrawn & not hurting at all. It was like it didn't bother him one bit.

I got to packing my stuff. I got to my last box put he tape on it and turned to him with tears in my eyes as he leaned casually on the counter, I said
" I feel like I won't see you again." He didn't say anything he just looked at me. I turned to the door walked out. And to his day he has never said one word to me. He just ended it like he was amputating an arm. No heart no love just cold.

Comments for Why me?

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Oct 10, 2014
Why me?
by: Doreen UK

Therese this is such a sad Love Story of betrayal, disrespect, indifference, and cruelty to say the least. Suddenly his personality changed without any explanation. He may have had a psychotic episode in which you are well out of it. Quite often a person can appear NORMAL, then suddenly any happening in life can trigger off a manic episode of Withdrawal from life, distance, and being subdued which is what it sounds like here, because he won't talk to you at all. If you are able to get some counselling for yourself you will be supported through what was such a cruel way to let you go. You need to know that you did nothing wrong. Except perhaps GIVING TOO MUCH OF YOURSELF to this relationship. This is the sad part in relationships.
My son's Wife had some bad experiences in her past relationships. She is protective of her house and she keeps her EX boyfriend as her close friend. She puts too much of her EX in the marriage and my son is now being pushed to the edge. My son gives his wife money every month towards HER HOUSE. He doesn't feel part of the marriage. (3yrs. married.) He found out that his wife took her EX on holiday to Spain. My son fell to pieces. His wife has thrown my son out of her house 5 times and I looked after him. She came back for him. She is now demanding more money each month to help her pay for her expensive lifestyle. My son left her 2 weeks ago so she could see how serious he is about moving on with his life. But He has gone back to her one last time providing she sees a counselor with him. She has serious problems and doesn't accept responsibility for these. She transfers her issues as if they belong to my son. All he wants is to be happy. Come home to his wife each evening and do all the normal things couple do like shopping, cooking, going out, going on vacations. But she wants to involve her EX in everything they do. The EX went on holiday with them. If my son objects she kicks off. After counseling, or if she pulls out of counseling He is going to walk away if she doesn't change. Simple. The EX stays out of the marriage and she puts her energies into Him and the marriage and she doesn't own the house where she CONTROLS everything. They buy one together. I hope they can work it out and have the happy marriage I had of 44yrs. before I lost my husband 2yrs. ago to cancer. Life is Cruel, and very tough often, leaving a lifetime of misery.
I hope you can get the answers you need and be able to move forward with your life and start to heal from such cruel behavior towards you from this man you spent time with, put time and money into his home, and thought you had a secure future with. Please write back with any update and more support.

Oct 10, 2014
Why Not you
by: judith in California

Thereasa dear, please move on with your life. You have learned a valuable lesson . Sure it hurts to have given your ll and then be thrown out like grbage. This guy doesn't deserve to breath the same air as you. Next time please don't put yourself all out there for a man. Let him be the one to pursue you. You don't have to prove how great you are by going overboard to show a man you are worthy of his love but he does have to prove he is worthy of yours. Please don't speak to this man ever again. By your allowing him to come around any time he sees you as weak and he can step all over you. And he does. Women must learn to let go. When a man says it's over close up shop and go.
Firstly don't move in with a man until you have a wedding day planned and set. Don't be so available to the next guy. Make him work for you. Unfortunately the world is full of narcissistic jerks who will take and take and never give back . When you have to give up most of who you are to be in a relationship then it's no good.

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