Why now?

by Baby Girls
(Ontario)


I lost my mom jan 4, 2012. She was super healthy, loved life, slim and people always thought she was not a day older than 35. She was only 56 and healthier than a horse. We found her still in her bed on morning. Biggest shock of our lives. We just spoke to her the day before and like any other wknd, planning to come by and watch funny videos of our holidays together.

She was the centre of all our universe, grandma, uncles, brother, sister, her granddaughters. But suddenly emptiness. She's not here and I am deeply in a pain I hope no one ever has to experience. No warnings, no chance to do "last wishes". 30 years too early (minimum). Why????why????why???

Comments for Why now?

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Feb 10, 2012
Lost the Queen of the house
by: sO sAD

I Lost my mom on the 5th of January 2012, I'm studying abroad, she was admitted to Hospital and on the 4th of January and by the time I arrived to the airport I found my Dad waiting for me crying telling me she passed away.
no one can understand the pain I'm feeling, we lost the queen of the house, the glue, I was getting married next month, and she was very excited, happy, she was dreaming about the day she will see me a groom, she has prepared everything, and now I'm lost, I can't go back to my work or study, can't go back to normal, don't want to speak to my fiance anymore, I just hate life .
I only wish I could have made her happy, I keep asking my self the same question, Why now? Why? I'm so sad, something beyond depression, I'm crying all the time, and my dad is very tired and sad, all she wanted is to be a grandmother, a mother of the groom for one day.

I know this will take a long long time, but too many arguments in my head, too many wishes.

Jan 31, 2012
She just gone for a long long vacation
by: MeiMei

I truly understand how you feel. I too lost my mummy on 23 Dec 2011... So soon its already over a month and I was still finding hard to get out of the zombie mode... although I've share my sudden loss of mummy here, I'm still in a shock state of mind... However, my 2nd elder brother told me to imagine mummy is out on a long long vacation and it will be easier for us to manage our emotion.

I think it did help when I don't see her ash-urn.... and pile myself with lots and lots of work.... keep yourself busy and do a lot of good deed for her sake.... it will help....

I guess we'll only learn to live with the pain and never get over it.

Jan 29, 2012
sorry
by: jane

I lost my mum nearly one year ago suddenly, she just went to bed and died a few hours later next to my dad no warnings nothing not sick just happened she was 69. I know how hard it is and even a year later i still feel just as bad, hoping to feel better one day I hope you can too just such a terrible thing it feels like half of you has died too and in a way I guess it has. I just dont know how to get out of this dark place. Just way to soon and even way too sooner for your mum. Sorry I dont have any words of comfort as such but just know we are out there feeling the same feelings together you are not alone even though it feels like it sometimes. best wishes to you.

Jan 28, 2012
Thank you
by: Baby Girls

Thanks so much to everyone for the support. Feels really good to know that we are going thru the same things together. Life has totally a different meaning now and even a few seconds before I got the news of my mom, I wouldn't even have the slightest idea of what this would feel like. Almost like Hell on earth. It gives me hope to know that so many people are all here for each other, even of its just strangers. Xoxoxo

Jan 27, 2012
I just lost my mom too on December 1, 2011
by: Meg

I saw your post and felt like it was words coming from me. No one seems to understand, it's like I am supposed to be over it, back to work, life as usual. But I can't. It is so hard to lose the glue, the center, the everything for our family. I am the only daughter with 5 brothers, I have lost the feminine connection. My grandmother (her mother) then passed away on the 17th of January. She was older, so it was easier, but just brought up all of the feelings about my mom. Right now I feel like I will never be able to go one, but i suppose i will just keep taking it day by day. I can only do one day at a time....

Jan 26, 2012
painful
by: Indu

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 22 year old son 7 months ago. he committed suicide with no clue or no warning to us. It was all a shock to us. He was the happiest child I had even seen. I suffered a lot and still in agony. My whole world is gone with him. I have no words to explain the pain I am having. I feel like the world is not being fair to me by taking him away from me.

Jan 26, 2012
just for baby girls
by: Anonymous

Hi I lost my mum the same time last year. She was 61 I thought my world had come to an end and sometimes I still do. She went to bed one night and died in her sleep. I feel for you. I have to be honest with you every day does get a little easier but you never get over it. you just learn to live with the pain. Hugs

Jan 26, 2012
WHY?
by: Anonymous

As a nurse I've heard this story so many times. A person who took extremely good care of themselves, watching their diet, keeping their weight where it needed to be, all of a sudden gone. No warning.
It's truly a shock to you and your family. It makes no sense to you.
Your system is in shock and it will be a while before the world looks like it's something you want to be part of again. It takes a while to put things into perspective. Some things never make sense to us and we ask WHY? I know I would be asking.
Take things one day at a time. You are in a very fragile state at this time. You need to take care of yourself.
Keep your mom's memory alive. She will always love you and be part of you.
God bless.

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