Why so young and so close together!!!

by Patra
(LaBelle MO )

April was a month of hell for me. I lost my cousin Chad at age 35 on April 21st and lost my kids father(Ray) age 36 on April 23rd. Both was unexpected! I never got to go to Chad's visitation or funeral because I was too busy planning Ray's funeral.

I have had to try to go on with life as normal as possible for my kid's sake. But really I'm falling apart at the seams! I was dealing with Chad's death pretty good because I had got to tell Chad everything I wanted to tell him before he died. See Chad got really sick a few weeks before he died and I told Chad how I felt about him them. But as for Ray I didn't get to tell him how I felt.

I was so mad at Ray when he died. He left me with 2 boys age 12 and 8 to raise. I felt he gave up on us. And didn't think it was fair to me or the boys. I am mad at God for taking Chad and Ray at such young ages and so close together. Ray knew I never wanted to be a single mom. And now he has left me a single mom.

I hurt so much for my kids... God should never have left my kids without a father. This has turned mine and my kids life upside down. What did my kids do to deserve to have their dad taken away from them? Ray was a good dad to the boys.

No matter what I do I can't seem to put my life back together. I cry all the time... I feel so lost and sad...I don't really want to be around people. I don't think I will ever find someone to love me like Ray did. And that scares to me to death. What do I have to do to get my life back?

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Sep 11, 2010
by: Anonymous

Dear forgive yourself , the thought of being alone is very scary but you have 2 wonderful souls to remind you every day of the love you had with their father, at this point you are not alone, look yourself in the mirror look at your reflection and tell yourself now I must become that rock for both my boys. Imagine how they are feeling losing their father, you will all come through this together just hold on to each other and always keep his memories alive; with the help of god all that's impossible can be possible just a little fate, god bless you and your family .

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