why was he taken from me?

My husband and I were married for 41 yrs but had been together most of our lives. We grew up on the same street and "played" together since I was 9 yrs old. We have 2 children and 3 grandchildren. One day I went to work as usual and when I came home there was a police car in the street in front of our house. My adult sons were at the front door waiting for me. It didn't register immediately when they told me Bud was "gone," He had taken a nap and simply never woke up. He was very strong and seemingly very healthy but had died of a heart attack in his sleep. This happened 4 yrs and 2 months ago and to this day I cannot accept him being gone. My whole family has fallen apart and I still can't learn how to live without him. I've become a very sad and bitter woman not really caring about anything anymore. There is no meaning to anything without him. Our children were grown and had lives of their own but we were still raising one of our grandchildren who is now 16 yrs old. The effect this has had on him is overwhelming and I'm of little help. Death is such a hideous event, so sudden, so permanent, so lonely. I pray I will see him again and look forward only to that day.

Comments for why was he taken from me?

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Jun 11, 2012
Share Your Pain
by: Rich

I understand your feelings.

I lost my wife of 41 years ago this past November from a rare form of kidney cancer.

Like you, we had known each other since our youth. It was always Rich and Cathy from the day we met. We were one person, not two separate people.

She was many things: courageous, accomplished, beautiful, etc. but most importantly, she was just such a nice person.

I suppose that I should be grateful for all the years that we had together. But, I only feel unimaginable pain at her loss.

I can offer, therefore, no words or thoughts that will relieve you of your pain. The only condolence that I can offer is that you are not alone. I understand your pain. It is deep and almost primeval. Perhaps that is the price that we pay for true love.




Jun 10, 2012
I am so Sorry
by: carol,seans mom

I am so sorry about your husband. I lost my son suddenly November 15,2011. It is still so raw. Some words you wrote jumped out at me. So Sudden, So Permanant and So Lonely. My son was a healthy,goodlooking and in shape kid. He went to bed and never got up. We learned of a blood clot on his heart and lack of oxygen to his brain. I hear alot now that there is no greater loss than that of a child. I do agree with that but right beside that has to come a partner you have been with for life. A friend of mine,59 years old just lost her husband pretty quickly. They were together 40 years. I think everyday that my pain is unbearable but I am sure yours is also. These are people you have a whole lifetime with. I am so sorry about your loss. Sudden death makes it so much worse. There are plans that were already made that had to be cancelled. There were appointments missed. I miss everything about my son. He was my oldest child and only son. Grief has done a number on my health. It is awful to be in my forties and know that I will never be completely happy again. Life can be cruel and unfair. I need to hang on for my daughters,they still deserve their mom and you need to try and hang on for your family. It is hard. It is unfair. The permanant part of death is difficult. I always helped Sean when he needed me and now I can't. That is a horrible feeling for a mom to have. May you find peace.

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