Sometimes when I really start thinking to myself I think how on earth can my dad be dead? He was supposed to be there for me for ever. I feel so lost without him, I'm so confused and I feel like I completely changed and anything that may have been important to be for isn't. My dad died June 15th 2012. All he was going to do was have a routine surgery even the doctor said it was a one and a million chance that he died. I trusted that doctor with my dad's life and he made mistake after mistake and killed him because he messed my dad up so badly in his operation. I feel like I'm way too young to be dealing with this...I'm only 14. I JUST WANT MY DAD BACK. It's so hard to pretend like I'm fine but I'm not and I feel like I'm slowly going insane. I was a dumb teenage brat, why could't I appreciate him more? He was my best friend and I had such a great connection with him! I was daddy's little girl. Sometimes I think I see him in a crowd but I know it's not him. I know it's not his fault but I'm just so ANGRY that he couldn't even be there to help me with my first year of high school. I can't live without him. He was only 45 and he loved his life. It's not fair.....he didn't even have a fatal disease. If that darn doctor didn't screw up then my dad would be here!!! Everyday is a new battle and I just hate my life more and more. What really hurts is when people know that my dad died and they say things in front of me like "I wish my would die"......how could anyone even say that in front of me? How can be people be so insensitive and cruel! I'm just a young girl and I thought I knew the world but I was wrong. I have to grow up extra fast and I just want to be a kid and worry about kid things again. I wish I had a friend that understood what I'm going through.....heck I wish my dad was still alive. I'd give anything just to see him again!