Why?

by John Mallon
(Phoenix, Az )

In September of 2013, my best friend of 18 years passed away from a heart attack at a restaurant less than an hour after we had sat down. We were just about to order, when he complained of an "upset stomach", and excused himself to go to the restroom. When he didn't come back after almost 30 minutes, I went to the mens room and found him passed out. Paramedics were called and he was rushed to the hospital where he died 38 minutes later. In November 2013,I spent Thanksgiving with my sister Mary's family, husband Bob and their 8 year old son. I was not planning to travel for the holiday but my sister convinced me as just 2 months after my friend's passing, I was not in a holiday mood. I got back home on December 1st and the very next day my brother-in-law called to say my sister had fainted at work. She was rushed to the hospital and examinations carried out over the next week revealed metastasized bladder cancer and tumors in her brain. Her doctors attempted radiation and chemo,but her type of brain cancer was very aggressive and she died on January 16th. In April 2014, my brother Patrick started to complain of ulcers and indigestion, and when he went to the doctor, he was diagnosed with cancer of the stomach lining. He was never comfortable with doctors and I tried get him to cooperate with the treatments, but he was not truthful with me about the visits, his treatments, what the doctors had said, etc. Finally, I was going to go with him and sit in on his appointments and see exactly what his condition was, but on June 27th, 2014, I found him in his bedroom..he had passed away during the night..From September through July 2014, so much loss. At night, I feel as if I'm suffocating and can't catch a breath..

Comments for Why?

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Sep 01, 2014
Why?
by: Doreen UK

John 3 deaths in such a short time will be a hard grief to bear. Just remember that if you are struggling you could benefit from seeing a grief counsellor for support. It is hard enough coping with one loss. You have lost 2 siblings and this is such a difficult loss to bear.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly rare and terminal cancer 2yrs. ago. Cancer being the worst disease to have to live with, with no surety of any remission. The cancer journey is difficult on the whole family. It is a family battle.
I am not surprised you feel as if you are suffocating. A horrible feeling as I am facing a battle with breathing from a serious lung condition. I feel as if I am suffocating all the time and don't have my husband here for support.
life hurts us because we have to live with the fear of death and losing loved ones. If we could choose our type of suffering it certainly wouldn't be this one. Recovery is so slow it feels as if grief will last forever. WHY? is a question we have no answer for, as we struggle to understand our losses. I hope you get the support you need to recover from your grief.

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