by Steffy
(Phoenix, Arizona)

God why?
Why did you take away my happiness?

Why did you take away my reason to smile and laugh?
why did you take away such a great man, so full of life and energy?

Why would you take him away at the age of 21? With his first child on the way?

Gody why?
I ask this question everyday?

He was my everything,
my bestfriend,
my husband,
my partner,
my lover,
my other half

He completed me in so many ways, gave me a reason to wake up and a reason to come home..

I feel so empty, I just had our child last month and he has no daddy, god took him, god didnt watch out for him.

MURDERED at age 21, Taken at the happiest moment in his life.
EVERYTHING lost. I feel out of control.

God why?
Why did you take my sons father away before he even got to meet him?
Why cant I find a lawyer to take this case and get the justice my husband deserves?
Why didnt you watch over him?
Why didnt you keep him safe at home?

God why?
Why did you leave me to suffer.

I feel so alone, I cant keep strong.
I look at our son, the child we created and I feel pain, why doesnt he have his daddy? WE NEED HIS DADDY.

I lost my husband, and I dont know why?
Why God wasnt looking out for us. We were starting our family.
So happy, so young, so much to live for.

Now its all gone, my life is a mess, cant find a way out.
Missing him so much, questioning my faith questioning the world.

I need him here on earth more then God needs him.
This pain is too much,

I had to spend our 1 year wedding anniversary alone.

MURDERED 3 months ago.

Why dont you answer me god?

Comments for Why?

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Apr 21, 2012
God loves you
by: Mari

How my heart aches for you in your grief. Please seek help from Grief counselors who can love you thru this terrible time. God does love you and that precious baby and He wants the very best for you both, hopefully you have family and friends who can offer support in many ways for you and the baby. Let them into your life. They will be so much help and comfort now.God bless.

Apr 20, 2012
by: Anonymous

Steffy, please do not blame God. God did not kill Cody. The Devil did. God took him in his arms afterwards and lifted him up into heaven to peaceful rest.

We have all tried to give you direction and useful advice and our sympathy because we have all been where you are and some still are. You are not alone for God is there to hear you and help you all you have to do is reach out to him in prayer and he will help you find the way.

You must get help from a professional Steffy. Cody's son,Your son needs you to be strong.

Apr 19, 2012
Be Blessed
by: Anonymous

You suffered a terrible loss. So did your son. Your future as you have imagined and your happiness have been murdered when you least expected it. You loved so much and now you feel even more pain. You have lost trust in that there is a meaning to our lives because young people are not supposed to die and children are supposed to know and grow with their parents. You were to experience many years together as a family. That is the right order in life and it has been brutally taken away from you. I wrote this because that is how I understand what you are going through while I also suffer from this torment. I lost a 20 year old son on January 1, 2012. I had to bury my child - it was a sudden death, a nightmare come true. The end of my life as I have perceived it. The end of myself as I knew me. I have asked "why" questions and God did not answer. I would write about my doubts but that would not help you. Just know that our faith is challenged, yours, mine, and many others'. It is through your child that you will find God's blessing and your husband in body and in spirit. You are a mother and that is such a challenge to face alone. I don't know what lies ahead but I pray that both of us can find peace soon.

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