Wife died from suicide

Married 25 years. She was smart, artistic, energetic, constantly
Growing and learning, caring, rescued several animals, sensitive and
Beautiful. She overcame a father that was abusive to her mother and
Losing her mother in a trajic accident. She was afflicted with alcoholism.
We were separated 3 years and went to counseling last 6 months. We
Respected each other and loved each other but had hard time talking
I made mistakes and got involved in things that hurt her deeply while
In counseling. We had resolved alot of our issues and had a great day
But she had stress that lead to a tragic impulsion. there were clear
Signs I should have seen. I feel guilty and ashamed. We were so close and
Both were trying best we could. I miss what could have been. I didn't
Protect my baby. I cry every day. In counseling, going to church, spendin
Time with family and friends, eating right, and excersing. Been 3 months
and it hurts so bad. She didn't deserve this. I know she is at peace. I read
The bible and understand that my sins can be forgiven.. I feel so empty.
I'm afraid I'm going to forget what I loved and our good times.
I know I have to make a decision. So exhausting. I'll be ok.

Comments for Wife died from suicide

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Jul 07, 2012
Wife died from suicide
by: Doreen England

Dear Grieving soul
I am sorry for your loss of your beloved wife to suicide. Your feelings of great grief and desperation come from your post. I can almost feel your pain of your loss. My dear friend. You are in the first throes of Grief. It doesn't get much worse than where you are at now. This is the pit of grief. You can only come up from this pit now. You can't sink deeper than where you are at this moment. You will wonder how you can go on without your beloved wife. But come what may we don't have a CHOICE. As long as God gives us breath we have to live. You live one day at at time. This is all anyone of us grieving a loss can do. You say that your wife didn't deserve to die. This is guilt talking. Part of the grief. We are all going to die whether we like it or not. Some die prematurely. Some die because of the unwise choices they made. Others die because they wanted to. And some like my husband didn't want to die. We were pleading with God for healing. Steve died from lung cancer caused by working with asbesstos. We were married 44yrs. Steve died 8 weeks ago today. My nephew at 30 years of age was in so much pain it was unbearable. Peter threw himself in front of an express train. He cried for help. No one came. There are some deaths people are saved from and some not. I don't know why. First question I will ask God when I meet him. If there was any way you could have saved your wife. You would have known. If you did know you will have to FORGIVE yourself for this. Often the hardest people to forgive is ourselves. I am glad you are reading your Bible and going to Church. My friend I do believe. Even when we believe we are not spared the trials of life. Often we meet God in a special way through our pain. We know him deeper. Don't give up. It will take a lot of time for healing to take place. Healing only comes when you express the pain. I am more worried about your last statement. I KNOW I have to make a decision. I hope it is not the decision to end your life because the pain is so unbearable. DON'T DO IT. THERE IS HOPE. Cling onto life. Get support from your church, pastor, a counsellor with the grief from suicide. You won't forget your wife and anything about your life. I can only remember the 3yrs.39days I was my husband's caregiver. I can only remember the days of cancer and suffering. Clearer memories are coming through now. It hurts. I MISS STEVE. He was my heartbeat. I will see Steve again when Jesus comes back for us. You will to. Make sure you are there. Your sins are forgiven. You have a clean slate. God cast our sins into the depth of the sea and forgets them no more and then puts up a sign which says NO FISHING. BELIEVE THIS. HAVE HOPE. Best wishes.

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