Wife left me and can't stop feeling hear tbroken...time heals but come on already!
dancing to Shout! during wedding reception. This is the kind of fun loving spiirt we always kept around each other...which is why I just don't know why this happened...
Well, where do I start. We were friends for 5 years before we started dating and eventually got married. I thought everything was great. We never seemed to even argue over much of anything ( maybe that should have been a sign). May of 2010 after about 2 and a half years of marriage she told me that she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with anymore. She said she loved me but that wasn't enough. She pointed out some random things I could do that might help us stay together (work out more, get a better paying job, get rid of my dog, etc.). I did everything for her. I did most of the cooking and cleaning too. I worked and went to school. I was always there for her when she needed someone to talk to. I always complemented her ever chance I could and always looked at her the same way I did the first time we met.I supported every career decision she mad. And when she doubted herself I was there to tell her how special she was and how capable of doing anything she wanted to she was. I gave up so much for her I moved away from my family in Florida to Texas for her, and in the end it wasn't enough for her. She promised me that she did love me and that if we got married we would work through everything this world threw at us...But I guess she must have been lying to herself. I truly believe that she believed she was in love with me. But the only thing close to a real reason I got from her about why she was leaving me was that she had been subconsciously ( unknowingly) building up resentment towards me about things she didn't like and since she was bottling it up inside it built up to the point where it all came out and no matter what I did to try and fix things it was years too late. I never stood a chance though all I wanted was to keep her smiling. Everyone was taken by surprise over our split up. Though none more than I.
2 weeks after we moved to our own apartments I got a call from my brother that my father, who was in the hospital with pneumonia had is vitals stop. Though he was resuscitated, it took to long and he had no cognitive activity. All that was keeping his heart beating and his body breathing was a machine. I flew back to Florida so I could be in the room while they disconnected the machine. The worst part about it was that I was feeling so destroyed from my wife leaving me that I was already pretty numb...sometimes I still think I am still that numb. How I can I grief for two things together when each one deserves its own period of grief?
My wife also left me loans we took out to help pay things ( including the wedding she really wanted). Unfortunately since we weren't married at the time I took out these loans the debt is legally just mine. She was talking about we could still be friends and that we wouldn't throw away such a special friendship. But she ended up never calling or acknowledging I existed except when she needed divorce papers signed. I wouldn't never want to get back with her. I wouldn't want to be with someone who could just throw me away like that. Treat me like everything we shared was just nothing more than footnote in her past. I just wish I could stop thinking about her. Every thing reminds me of her. Every time i listen to a song or watch a movie or eat at a place I know she would have liked it all comes back. And plus I have that feeling of hate in me. I don't want to let that eat away at my heart. But as of right now I want her to eventually be miserable and realize that she made the biggest mistake of her life. But that's just me needing that so I don't feel that I am the failure here.
I'm just afraid no matter what happens now I am always going to think that regardless how great a person seems and how much in love we are and wonderful the relationship is, in the end it could always come to that same end. What a horrible way to be. Well I could have gone more into detail but I just needed to vent this to people who might at least know what it feels like to have their hearts crushed. We officially got divorced last August, 2011 and had separated December 16th of 2010. I just hope these goes away within the following year. She doesn't deserve to affect me this way.