Wife left to be a lesbian with her cousin.

by Jon
(Macomb, IL)

My wife of 12 years left our 9 year old son and I to be in a lesbian relationship with her cousin. At the same time she started showing classic symptoms of bipolar disorder, which runs in her family. She put our families through *ell for over a year before she finally moved out altogether. She turned her back on our 3 sons(two older boys, 19 and 21, oldest is ours from when I was a senior in high school) for months at a time.

She lives a few trailers down from her parents in a trailer park. Her phone number has changed. She refuses to talk to me or see me. She treats her parents, sisters and most of her old friends like enemies or just has cut them off completely.

She is a completely different person now, supporting her unemployed cousin completely and not offering any help for her own children.

If it weren't for my 9 year old son I believe I would of gone crazy by now. I can't bear the thought of hurting him or letting her hurt him anymore. I still think about it all the time though.

I dream about my wife every single night. I know there is something wrong with her but she treats me like an enemy now. All I ever did was try to help her and get her back.

Comments for Wife left to be a lesbian with her cousin.

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Dec 25, 2014
When life doesn't work out the way you wanted
by: Doreen UK

Jon I am sorry for your loss of your wife to a new relationship and how this has destroyed your close family unit.
It is so painful when you love someone deeply and they don't love you back in the same way. They in fact love someone else.
Even if we make our own choices and decisions often this is dictated by forced outside or ourselves. Bipolar is a Mental Health illness and can be complex and confusing for everyone. For the sufferer and also for the whole family who has to go through these changes also.
The best thing you can do is to FOCUS on your children and how they need support and put everything into them to help them work through their loss and hurt. You will get your life back in a new way which will be healthier emotionally for everyone. It is not what you wanted. But often we have to make the best out of a bad situation.
Living with disharmony, and arguing is so difficult for everyone.
Your wife will one day wake up and realise that her happiness does not revolve around herself, but what she gives to other's. We are living in a turbulent world of selfishness, where many people find happiness despite their marriage vows. Many families are going through what you are having to face. My son is going through it and I am having to support him through the pain. Divorce is not what my son wanted but he has no choice to leave a wife that loves her EX more. How quickly lives are destroyed by selfishness.
I hope that the New Year will bring you better happiness and that you will be able to move forward and find the happiness you deserve. You have your children and nothing and no one can take that away from you. Happy New Year!!!

Dec 24, 2014
Same thing here
by: Anonymous

My wife has requested a divorce for the same reason. She fell in love with her 20 year old lesbian cousin (wife is 40).

It's a bitch, especially when you still love her.

Apr 23, 2014
Wife left to be a lesbian with her cousin
by: Doreen UK

Jon I am sorry for your loss of your wife to another person. The world of Bi-polar is complex and trying to win her back will seem futile. I always think it is humiliating to try and fight for the one you love if they don't want to be there. It is like bashing your head against a brick wall. It is so difficult to let go of the one you love. If her heart is somewhere else all you can do is FOCUS on your sons and YOURSELF. Don't tear strips off yourself for what has happened or to look inwards for failings as is common in these circumstances. Maintain your dignity. Your wife has changed her FOCUS which is why she cannot see what she is doing to everyone around her. Maybe one day she will wake up and feel the full impact of what she has done. It won't be till things start changing in her relationship that she will have a REALITY check.
If you ever took her back it would be hard on you and your son because there would be normal anger and you would find it difficult or even impossible to carry on where you left off. It is not so easy to re-establish a relationship again. It is like a FRACTURE. Healing is slow and the fracture is never truly healed. Focus for now on what you have to do to get through each day. Put value on yourself and find companionship and friendship with someone who can make you feel valued and respected. When respect goes out of a relationship it is hard to resolve this. Who wants the hard work a relationship takes if the other person doesn't feel the same way as you do. You will suffer emotionally. The nurturing you give your sons can never be forgotten or taken away. I hope things work out for you and you realise that there are more people going through this with you and if you can find a support group for dads this will be a truly healing experience. Take one day at a time.

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