Will this pain ever go away??

by Noel

I lost my Dad on January 24, 2011. I was 15 years old and my brother was 21. I'm my Dad's only biological child but he adopted my half brother. Of course I was a Daddy's girl and I got what I wanted if I asked him. My Brother never had anything to do with my Dad unless he needed something. My Dad was in and out of jail my whole life and it was really hard on me. Well he got out of jail December 2009 and I told him I want have anything to do with him unless he can prove to me he'll be around forever, when I need him. So I told him he had to stay out of trouble for a while and he proved it to me. In July 2010 I started visiting him and going to the movies with him and we started getting close. He paid for me to go to a trip which cost $1000 and he had to work hard for that money while he was sick. He found out he was a diabetic and his sugar runs extremely high (like 600). Well I came back from my trip on January 2, 2011 and moved in with my Dad for 4 days and decided to move back in with my Mom because she is sick and has no one else. Me and my Dad got in a huge fight on January 21, 2011 after we left the movies and I had him drop me off at my Mom's and he said I love you and I ignored him and walked off. He tried calling and texting me on January 22, 2011 but I ignored them. On January 23, 2011 at 10:38 p.m. I answered his phone call and apologized and he apologized to me but I was still kinda mad at him so I didn't talk to him like I normally did. On January 24, 2011 I woke up and checked Facebook on my phone and my Aunt's status said "Pray for Ed. His brother died this morning." I went into panic mode and ran to my Mom's room crying saying "Mommmmmm, Dad's dead" She said "I know baby! Come here" she was crying too and I just fought her off me and fell and started crying. My mom asked me how I found out and I said "Facebook" and I said "why didn't you tell me?" and she said "I was going to let you sleep and tell you when you wake up. Your aunt called me at 1 this morning and told me. I didnt think about you finding out on Facebook." For the next week I didn't go to school and I didn't leave my room. All I done was cry in my room. My mom tried to get me to come out and try to talk her but I wouldn't. At my Dad's funeral I got there before anyone else and started crying and my Brother came with me and he cried too. We both cried til we couldn't cry anymore. Four months later we found out he died of a Diabetic Coma. When I talked to my Dad the night before he died his sugar was 627. I love and miss him so much!! I wish I would have got to say goodbye to him. I'm just thankful I got to talk to him and apologize 4 hours before he died. It's been almost a year and the pain hasn't eased any. Some days are easier than others but recently it has hit me hard but I think it's because he wasn't here for my 16th Birthday and he's not going to be here this Christmas or New Year's.    R.I.P Daddy!!<3 

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Dec 23, 2011
by: Anonymous

My dad has been gone since dec. 2008. Lung cancer. the doctors gave him 3 weeks and he lasted just that. I am still sad. I still miss him. It helps to journal. I listen to "our" song, Perhaps Love by: John Denver and Placido Domingo. I will share it with you. Please listen to it. I am sorry your hurting.

Dec 22, 2011
I'm so sorry
by: Jen

I'm so sorry to read about your loss....it's heart breaking - I just buried my 23yr old son on October 25, 2011 and the pain is unbearable most days - like you I am so devastated and wish I could have said goodbye...my son died suddenly. I am so sorry you have to live without your dad :( take care and God bless you

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