William Stankowski

I fell in love with a man who said he was getting a divorce. He convinced me his relationship was over. He moved in with me, cheated on me with her. I cried and cried and fell into depression when I found out how long he had known her and the extent of their relationship because I already loved him, he made me love him. She harassed me and stalked him by phone and in person still we didn’t let go. She refused to sign divorce papers for a year or more. I knew I couldn’t let go of him. He went back and stayed with her several times for several days throughout our relationship. He caused me great grief depression and suicidal thoughts. I’d be overjoyed when he came back. I never fell in love with anyone before him. He got injured severely. I took care of him but I continued to express anger or unforgiveness for what he had done to me. I see where I failed. We got married I changed my name to his I felt we were married from the time he moved it. I feel like I have loved him forever. I have a lot of guilt and regrets. I continued to drink and get drunk from time to time. I continued to get jealous and say things I didn’t mean. I got drunk one day and started flirting with some guys that were at our house. He beat me and then left me. I found out he was at his ex’s house and moved back in with his ex. He has not spoken to me in more than a month. The grief is severe. He took all his stuff and my cat. I lost my cat too. I so hurt I can’t express it. I’m going through all the stages of grief. I thought we became family and I would have him in my life forever. Maybe I was wrong all along to try to make him my husband and didn’t know it. I just loved him so much that I thought that made it right, I don’t feel I can love any other man. I know I never met anyone like him in the 34 years I was alive without him. Now I’m 38 and alone. It is horrible when someone you love and bonded with and become close to will not speak to you. I hope this pain will end.

Comments for William Stankowski

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Jul 09, 2012
William Stankowski
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Brokenhearted,
YOU did nothing wrong. You just LOVED TOO MUCH. Love hurts. I know how you feel personally. I also know how you feel as my son was in the same position. Because he loved the girl when he should have walked away. He married her. My son's wife has a pre-nuptial so my son gets none of her house. She tells him she will see her ex boyfriend once a week. She takes the two of them on holiday. So ex boyfriend, husband. all 3 go on holiday together. She thinks she is doing nothing wrong.
Just think what you are being spared from in the future. A MAN WHO USED YOU for his own purposes.
Go and get urgent counselling to help you through this loss. The counsellor will support you through the pain till you come through. See this man as the loser not YOU. It hurts deeply when you love someone and they choose someone else. It hurts when they ignore you. You really feel used.
YOU WILL RECOVER FROM THIS. You will become a stronger person through it. You will LOVE AGAIN.
When you find someone who really loves you. You will look back and see this as a blessing in your life. Being spared further heartache down the line. His wife and himself won't have an easy time. Whatever happens PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Don't take him back if his wife kicks him out. Because he will come running back to you. hold your head up high. When you are in a healthier place with your grief. Sing Gloria Gaynor's song.
" I WILL SURVIVE." Focus on this. You will come through this with your dignity. Best wishes

Jul 08, 2012
Love can be Blind.
by: RN

Please believe it will end. This is my third marriage and it is the greatest, I will be celebrating my 20th anniversary. He really didn’t care enough about you because of his philandering while he was married with you. He did the same to you while you were married to him. He’s back with his first wife; imagine what she is feeling every day, exactly what you felt. This may have been a blessing that it ended, before you had children. Let someone in who really loves you, not just someone who wants to fulfill his own needs. Please don’t grieve over something you never had, it was all about what made him feel good not you. Let yourself meet someone else. Date as much as you can, involve yourself in other activities or volunteer your time.

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