wish i could turn back time i miss you my beautiful grandparents!
by Rebecca Wright
okay so i was 15 when i lost my grandad to neumonia on the 25th january 2010:'( it was so horrible to loose him seen as though i was so so so close to him and my nan! stayed at theirs every weekend from basically being born.. i love them so much its unberlieveable and im so devastated. I lost my second grandad to lung cancer in october 10th 2010, it was so devastating i wasnt as close to my second grandad as my grandad i lost in january because we didnt spend alot of time but i cried alot when he died cos we still had our own special bond, after loosing my grandad in january my nan whom they have now been together 54years.. was so devastated it hurt seeing her hurt every time i went to see her. I wished their was something i could do!! but i couldnt i just had to stay strong and give her as much hugs and kisses as possible and always have a talk and laugh with her. It took a turn for the worst in january 2011 when my nan suddenly became very ill. she went in hospital and within 3-4 days was diagnosed with PANCREATIC CANCER?! how sudden!! we was all with her whilst she was fighting in her hospital bed! she couldnt even speek proper this was killing me inside :'(, anyway that night i went to see her i bathed her arms and washed her beautiful face down and asked her on occasions would she like a drink, she tried to respond the best she could but i knew it wasnt her fault atall. i knew deep down for some reason no matter how much i didnt want to believe it that this was it she wasnt going to make it this time shes suffered enough with battles through cancer all her life then loosing the love of her life, it was too much for her to go through again, so gently that night i remember saying "nan its ok if you want to go grandads waiting for you and ill always love you" and kissed her and held her hand all night, that night i went home and the next morning she had passed :( i went to the hospital and comforted my dad and family and just cried my heart out at how relieved she was with grandad and not suffering but the pain of loosing my special nan. I now sit here everyday thinking about all of them and how i wish! i could turn back time to when i was a little kid, having the time of my life and my nan and grandads house the best days of my life!! but now both my nan and grandad passed, the house has new owners and the only permanent home i grew up in ( my mum moved alot ) was gone! the memories i still had but it was gone its so heartbreaking i cry buckets and buckets wishing they would come back its so hard and the pain is so unbearable i love you all so so so so much!!! ino your my gaurdian angels. i loveyou guys so much your always in my heart and i hope you know this! r.i.p now your happy and enjoy yourselves for an eternity, i will join you one day, but until then will think of you's everyday i loveyou my angels becky your grandaughter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx