Wishing i had the strength not to care..

I'm 30 and have been with my husband for 14 years but got married 2 years ago..We have a 12 yr old and 3 yr old and I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. He has now left us because of the constant fighting. But the truth of the matter is he was having an affair he keeps denying but I have proof, I have spoken to her. She does not care we are married or that we were living together at the time..he has been seeing her for a lil more then 6 months, but during my whole pregnancy..He keeps denying it to make it seem as if I'm crazy but she had admit it and she said she wasn't going to stop. This is the first time fights even got physical at home and even had the xmas tree thrown at me coming down the stairs making me fall down the stairs pregnant and in front of my kids. She has turned him into a monster..my self esteem,self respect just everything is in a hole..what did I do so wrong? Why is trying to hurt me so bad?? There are many times I would think everybody would be happier without me around..I know I need help..but its not easy to find

Comments for Wishing i had the strength not to care..

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Mar 06, 2012
GET the Strength!
by: Judith in California

You're in a scary place. The very minute he made you trip down those stairs should be a big eye opener to move on and get you and your children out of his reach. OR get him out. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse is all wrapped up in one as you tell of your situation.

You must not give up your power to him. You begin today to fight for yourself and your children and send him packing. He has broken all his marriage vows. He is a sociopath and will not change. He has no consience or remorse and his girlfirend is a sociopath too not caring about you marriage.

You must not let your children think how he treats their mother is okay.

It's not your fault he is a jerk but it will be your fault if you stay and tolerate one more minute of his crap.

Mar 04, 2012
by: Janet

One thing that was brought up in our grief session today was "To thine own self be true." You are in a very bad relationship. I understand the pain of where you are coming from. You have to think of the children you have and the one on the way. They need you more than anything else in the world.
Ask yourself and give yourself a true answer "Why do I want to be with someone who does not want to be or love me?" When you can truly answer that question then and only then can you move on. Life is not fair but I am learning that we can and chose to be.
Life is the sum of our choices. We live by the coices we make. The best thing you can do is to let him go and to slowly move on with your life. Live your life for your children and the one that is soon to be. They need you now more than any one else. They depend on you and you above all and you at least owe them the right to know and have a mother who loves and cherishes them very dearly. We take the good, the bad, and the ugly as it comes and we grow and become stronger because of it. Your children will to. Give them the chance to know a loving and caring mother, which you are.
I had my son out of wed-lock and he never carried his fathers name. His father did not want to have anything to do with it and that was his choice, not mine. I married a wonder man who raised my son from the time he was 8 years old until I lost him 4 months ago. I would not trade any of that time nor the time my son had to know what it was to have a loving caring father. Yes we did fight but the fights were and are insignificant to what he gave my son, which was his love.
May you find peace with yourself and to Thine own self be True. One breath, one step and one day is all you can do. My heart goes out to you in what you are dealing with and I will be here should you need me. You may contact me at janetsellars@sbcglobal.net if you just need someone to talk with or to vent and say what is on your mind. God Bless you and you try to make a new life for yourself and your children.

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