Without my Bear, two years
by Judy
I've tried to post two other times about this milestone and both times something has happened to stop me. Maybe I am not over it yet and just think I am. Mari asked if anyone felt weird like they were a different person. My answer is yes. I am a very different person than I was and in a fundamental way closer to the person I always was inside. By that I mean there's no one but me now and I make all the decisions and take all the responsibility if it's a bad decision. I do whatever I want, go where ever I want and answer to no one but myself. This is empowering and liberating and at the same time lonely. But the loneliness is better than it was and is lessening as I step more fully into the stream of life. I am still here in Florida and have resigned myself to this for the next few years until/if the economy rights itself. I have made tentative steps into letting another man into my life. It's nice but find I don't need it as much as I thought. I'm going be be a grandmother next year and this is very exciting to me, another role to take on and another dimension in my relationship with my daughter. So much of my recovery can be credited to this site and to the wonderful caring people here, Hope, Mari, Patricia, Trish, Judith in California, Yvonne, Zoe whose words of encouragement and understanding have carried me through. So we go on, one breath one day at a time. JM
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