by axm

when i was young my mom was addicted to drugs. she exposed me to a criminal sub-culture. i had the opportunity to see life throug the eyes of addiction. the drama, manipulation, lies, struggles and the accomplishments of stopping. my mom had a few sayings one was that no one grows up states they want to be addicted. she also stated that it does not matter what she does or who she does it with i will respect her. from time to time it hurt so much to give her the respect due to all the behavior that addicts have, the perceived embarrassment and the pain that was caused. i did my best because my mom had the unconditional love and a huge heart..... it hurts so much i can't finish .... the good news i am a 1st gen grad and have a career in law enforcement i owe it to my mom who pushed me to not give up. i love you mom

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Aug 10, 2013
by: Doreen U.K.

Axm, your mom put values in your life that you emulated and pushed you to become the person you are. I believe our parents can give us values and do the best for our lives but sometimes through difficulties in life they adopt a certain lifestyle that goes against the grain and make their children unhappy. I understand what you are saying. I don't think any parent can demand respect from their children if they adopt a lifestyle that is not good for a child to be around. Children learn their core values from parenting and nurturing. But a parent can command respect by how they relate to their children all which springs from respecting each other. If a child sees the parent do drugs or drink the child can either follow these habits or do the reverse. Never entertain them. Which is why many a child says "When I grow up" I won't do what mom does. Some go on to be replica's of their parents and others do the opposite. It goes back to the family dynamics and how this evolves within the family.
You sound disappointed at your mom's lifestyle as if it has affected your life in some way but at the same time being proud of her for giving you the drive to pursue a career which is now making you happy. If you are crying whilst you write this post it is because of some pain from your past coming to the surface and needing to be resolved. A good counsellor can help in this area and when repressed memories come to the surface and dealt with they never come back again to trouble the individual. It is almost as if the pain has evaporated. It is a good thing as pain from the past can get in the way of moving forward. Our parents can often make us feel proud of them or ashamed, but deep down we can still love them deeply, but not what they did in life. Often our parents are a product of their abusive past and can't help going off the tracks. It is the education of the present that can address this and also the ability to forgive our past and our parents for their shortcomings and learn from this. Be proud of what you do in life and credit where it is due. WE can all still HONOUR our parents despite our past. It takes a strong child to not take up the habits of the parents. Be proud of yourself for not adopting a drug lifestyle like your mom. She knew it was wrong despite her addiction and she steered you in the opposite direction whilst she struggled with her habit. Best wishes in your new career.

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