worst pain i've ever felt

by Samukele Xaba
(South Africa, Pretoria)

The 8th of november 2012 was the worst day of my life thats the day God decided to take my mother away from me, i never got to say goodbye or to kiss her or see her beautiful smile. I knew sooner or later she would leave me but i never expected it to be so soon. I was only 12 years old i was still a child she had breast cancer for 3 years, she was my role model , my best friend my everything she fought a tough battle with cancer. I remember the day we buried her when they opened the coffin for us to see her one last time the only thing i did was to kiss her cause i knew that i was the last time i could ever see her again as the coffin slowly went down i cried and the only thing i could say was there goes my mother. I wish i could have spent more time with her or listen to everything she told me and never got irritated when she disterbed me or embarrased me cause now i can never tell that im sorry or say I LOVE YOU.

By: Sam

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Jun 13, 2014
worst ain i've ever felt
by: Doreen UK

Samukele I am so sorry for your loss of your mom at such a young age. You must be 14yrs. of age now and still at school. I hope that your grief did not disrupt your education much. You are right. This is the worst pain you will ever go through in life. Our mother's nurture us and do their best for us, and we don't have to repay them because they love to do this unconditionally. I am a mother to 3 Adult children and the best job in the world being a mother and caring for her children. Breast cancer is claiming so many lives every day. Few get remission from this disease and it can often return with a vengeance. I lot my husband to cancer 2 years ago. He had one of the worst rare cancers which was terminal. I know how difficult the cancer journey is with chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and then seeing your loved one ill and losing weight and all the getting sick. I just can't believe I got this far from this first days of diagnosis. This was the worst day for me. Our grief start then. You shouldn't feel guilty for not spending more time with your mom and your mom would not have expected an apology for your normal behaviour of a young girl. Mother's are mature enough to know the awkward stages of growth with all the outbursts her children display, and moms are never surprised. She doesn't expect her children to have the maturity level, till they grow older and more in control of their emotions.
All you can do is to take one day at a time and try to cope with your studies and hopefully carve out your new life, putting good things in place so you can not only survive, but to do it well. Getting an education is important, as is choosing one's career. I hope you have good supportive family and friends and that you continue to progress and thrive in a difficult hurting world.

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