Would rather die than live the rest of my life without him
I lost my father at 22, out of nowhere. I'm now 25, and it seems like it only gets worse as each year passes. I've lost the rock of my life- the one consistent thing that i knew in this chaotic world. I think each day.. how many years must I go through until I'm with him again... wherever that is? I pray that through the good that I do on this Earth, God will allow us an eternity, and even then forever may not be long enough. So many days the thought crosses my mind that there's no way I can complete this life, hurting each day for another 30, 40, 50 years or even more. I know I'm not the only one who's felt that the only honest and consistent love came from my father. I spend too many days asking God why take away the one person that gave me the love, guidance, and compassion that is nowhere to be found in the rest of the people who pass me by. I was never ready for this, and as hard as I've worked to become a strong person, and even as far as I have come.... I still cannot see with an honest eye how I can find peace. I've done the best I can, and I've worked so hard with only myself to rely on, in order to try and grow into the best man I'm capable of becoming. I just pray that I can find peace, and if not, take this life from me because this was never meant to be. No matter what they say, this was never ever meant to be.