My mother had hypertension,high cholesterol and mild Alzheimer's disease. She was 79 years old and my best friend in the world! She was a kind and gentle woman but had a lot of pride and didn't like to ask for help. We had lost my father 30 years ago to lung cancer and she raised me on her own with many struggles. She pushed me to finish my career in the medical field. She had been complaining of shortness of breath for the past year and I took her for EKG,stress test,chest X-ray and the doctor said she had mild plaque in her coronary ateries but nothing that needed intervention but keep taking medications. She loved to travel, had blood test September showing cholesterol 258,which was high and I told her to take her medication with her on her trip. She would go away for two months and I believe she wasn't taking her meds regularly. We were supposed to go for check up but I kept getting caught up in my own life. I'm married with 6year old child. She was active always walking her little dog. She lived downstairs from me and I always cooked for her, took her out shopping. I noticed she would get tired a lot and did not want to walk for long periods because she would complain of low back pain since she had really bad arthritis. She was losing weight and said she wasn't too hungry lately and she began to repeat things a lot. She thought the dog wasn't eating but the dog was really fat. I didn't realize her memory getting worse. I always saw her as a strong women and myself as her little girl. She was a very loving mother. She kept asking me to help her clean her place and I was always so busy with my own life that I was very selfish and feel I could've been there more for her. My siblings live out of state and haven't visited her in years. I was her only caretaker and I failed her! One day she decided to clean and moved some light furniture and I came home and found her curled up in the bed and she said she did not feel well that she had eaten lots of chocolate and been cleaning and then felt abdominal pain,chest pain and nausea. I asked her to go to hospital and at first she said yes but then she went to throw up and said she felt better that she probably pulled a muscle moving stuff and that's why she had chest pain. I took her bp was 120/82 and pulse58. I listened to her heart and it sounded normal. I stayed with her that night and kept debating about going to hospital and she said she was better and to let her sleep. I believe that was my fatal decision. She never showed shortness of breath. Sunday she woke up and said she was a little better and to go buy her hair dye cuz she always dyed her roots every couple of weeks. Monday she seemed okay but slower paced. Tuesday went food shopping for her and brought her all her favorite foods. Wednesday I was going to work and as always,I went down to see her and asked if she was okay and she told me to give her her stomach meds cuz that what she had been taking last few days thinking it was only gastritis and arthritis and not that she was actually dying before my eyes. I came that night,May 8'2013 to find her dead in her shower stall. It seems she had taken shower closed the water then sat down and died that morning. I wanted to die myself when I found her cuz I should've taken her to the hospital on Saturday and probably saved her life but my stupidity cost my mother her life. Her doctor told me she was stage 2heart failure and at risk for cardiac arrhythmia at any time and that there was no way to prevent what happened. I hate myself and feel I cheated her out of more time. I go to church and cemetery everyday begging her for forgiveness. I never for a minute thought she had heart attack on Saturday. I thought she had gastritis I never imagined my beautiful mother would be dead because of my fatal decision. I miss her so much and life without her is very empty. I will never forgive myself! I know i have to be strong for my 6 year old little girl but it is very hard. God bless my mother and I know she is In heaven because she was a very religious woman. I will always love her!