xoxo big hearts
I'm 18 years old and I unfortunately lost my dad to a life long battle with heart disease in June of 2011. I watched my dad battle this disease all my life. It was a struggle for him to do a lot of things, but he never let it show. He was always there, no matter what. my softball games, he was in the stands, if I needed help with my homework, he always had an answer. He was retired, so I spent everyday with him when I was little. I was out working in the dirt with him, or helping him cook, or even just hanging out watching tv. I always had that special bond with him, he always knew what to say, and how to make me and my mom laugh. Him and I shared a love for horses and its hard to carry on that love without him here. When I got into high school and more towards senior year, he got worse. My mom worked and eventually ran out of time she could take off, so I took my dad to doctors appointments and I came home everyday on my lunch from school to make sure he was okay. I gave up a lot of my "precious high school experiences" but I wouldnt trade it for the world. He went to the hospital in March and didn't end up coming home until June. He came home to attend my high school graduation and I cant explain how much that meant to me. I think after graduation he finally knew he could let go and that was terrible for me to see. He spent a week at home before he passed away and I was there everyday, which takes a toll on me mentally and emotionally to this day. It feels like a piece of you is missing and there is nothing that can ever replace it. I know he's proud of me and looks down on me everyday, but I just wish I had a few more days. There were so many things my mom, dad, and I wanted to do, as a family, and it hurts. I'll always be "daddy's little girl", and no one will ever take those memories away.