You are my heaven..

Jackie was my best friend. She was funny, outgoing, smart, beautiful and she had a laugh and smile that could make your whole day. She was a few years younger then me she had just graduated high school June 8th 2013. I had traveled all the way from ND to be there on her special day. I remember waking up and her and I rushed around to get ready we were running a little bit behind she was almost late for her own graduation hahaha. We made it in time and getting to watch her walk across that stage was one the proudest moments of my life, my best friend had did it! Thats when it hit us that we could start all our plans to move in with eachother and go to college and do all the crazy college stuff! I was only home for a week, long enough to attend her graduation and then I had to go back to ND to work. I got back to ND on June 12th. Jackie and I talked everyday.On June 25th she called me randomly just to tell me she missed and she hoped work was going good, she was getting ready to head to a party. June 26th I got a call from a friend asking "Did you hear what happened to Jackie! She was in a car accident last night, its bad!" I got on a train that same day and traveled back home. Jackie was airlifted to a trauma center and was being treated for multiple head injuries. That morning her and 2 other close friends of ours were on their way home from a party. All of them had been drinking, incuding Jackie who was lying in the backseat without a seat belt on. They lost control and flipped the car multiples times until it finally came to a stop. The driver and other passenger had minor injuries but Jackie was suffering from multiple head injuries. When I arrived at the hospital all of her family was there. I was greeted by her sister in law who right away told me I needed to go back to Jackies room and see her. I was hesitate because I didnt know what to expect. As I came to her room I could only see her feet at this point I took a deep breath and actually went in. She had cuts, bruises and swelling but I looked past that. I saw my best friend, my beautiful best friend fighting for her life. I held her hand and just cried my eyes out, I told her I loved her, I kissed her as many times as I possibly could. For 2 days we waited for good news but the doctors were giving us zero hope that Jackie was going to survive. On June 28th I took her little brother and sister home because they needed to go home and be away from the hospital. June 29th was by far the worst day of my life. I got a call at about 7 am from a close friend and all she said was "Amber shes gone! Jackies Gone!" my heart dropped and tears stremed down my face. My world had just came crashing down. My best friend was gone. I didnt know what to think or how to feel, it was like my whole life just stopped in that moment. A few weeks later we had her burial and that was when reality set in for me. Watching my best friend be lowered into the ground was when it all got real. I wouldnt ever see her again, I wouldnt hear her laugh, see her smile, feel her touch, or do anything that we planned to do. Her life was cut so short. The driver of the car Jackie was in, was not just a random person he was family. Justice needed to be served but Jackies mom didnt want to see another life go down over an accident. Having to live with the fact that he killed Jackie for the rest of his life was Justice in itself. I personally cant help but be a little angry, my best friend is gone and she was taken in the worst possible way ever. Do you know how it feels to watch your best friend graduate one week and a few weeks later bury her? Somedays I feel like shes still here. I text her even though I know I wont get a text back. It will be a year June 29th 2014. Minutes, months and years can pass by but ill never forget my best friend.

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Jun 16, 2014
Thank you..
by: Anonymous

Doreen,thank you so much for those words. That is something I need to hear. Life is tough, to tough sometimes. When stuff like this happens it makes me question so many things. Why her? Why so young? Why would God take her away? I guess I will never know. I needed to be reminded to stop putting my life on hold. I dont want to do anything because I feel like im leaving her behind. Moving on is hard, I dont think I will ever be able to move on or let go of the fact that I will never see her again. I am happy shes at home with the Lord but all of me wishes she was home with her friends and family.
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Losing my best friend was hard. I could never imagine losing my soulmate. May God give you strength everyday. Thanks again<3

Jun 12, 2014
You are my heaven...
by: Doreen UK

Amber I am sorry for your loss of your best friend. Almost a year and you may not have moved forward much since your friends death. Life crushes us in so many ways, but to lose loved one's is one of the worst experiences of life. I lost my husband 2yrs. ago and even although one tries so hard to move on, it still feels as if everything is moving in slow motion. Can't move as much, or tackle much. Days when you lose your motivation to do anything. It is as if something inside collapses and we have no power to fire that engine to get us going again. Just accept where you are and don't try to push yourself forward. Let life unfold as it will. don't stop progressing in your life. Don't put your life on hold. Do what you need to do to make your life better. Your friend is safe and out of pain and harm. Life is tough and we have to make the best we can to move on, despite not wanting to.

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