You Can't Give Up...
It was around three yr's ago that I first visited this site. My darling daughter had been gone a year at that time. I lost her at the young age of 26. She had just celebrated her 26th birthday. She was killed in a car accident. At that time I didn't think I would survive another year of pain and heartache. I know that most all of you who are reading this...know the unspeakable pain of which I am talking about. There really are no words to describe it as you know.
I was really feeling alone and felt I was drowning in the darkness and loneliness that comes with this journey we have been thrown into. Friends and family seem to be there the first few months but as life moves forward ,so do many of them. I am sure most people have no real clue of how hard this private Hell can be for us. That's 'why' I came to this wonderful site. I felt for the first time I could share my true feelings. Shed my tears, my sadness and pain, and feel that someone out there would truly understand. I wouldn't have to worry about making them uncomfortable when I spoke of how much I missed her smile, her laugh...my child.
One day I received an email from a woman that had lost her son suddenly. That was two years ago. Since that first email we have become each others support through this journey. We have reached out to the other during the darkest of days. We remind each other of how we need to remain strong for our other loved ones. I can't begin to say how grateful I am to have this amazing friend and how blessed I am to have met her. We both believe that our children brought us together and are watching over us.
There are manuals and self help books for many things in life. Losing a child to me is the worst possible thing that one can suffer. There are grief books and faith that can help us through this, but having someone who has 'lived it' as you have I believe, is the best thing that can help. It was four years ago yesterday since I lost my beautiful daughter. I still have days that the tears come and my life seems so dark. I also have days that I can see the light again. Where I realize that I am laughing again or find myself looking forward to tomorrow. There is no magic wand to wave to bring our children back to us, our loved ones.But we can reach out to each other and Listen and Offer support though. As diffficult as this road is-we can't give up.
With gratitude for this site and for my wonderful friend and friends I have made here.