You claimed to be our friend, REALLY???

KEEPING IN TOUCH

LIVING WITH GRIEF

PET LOSS CORNER

EXPRESSING SYMPATHY

CREATIVE OUTLETS

HOUSEKEEPING

[?] Subscribe To This Site

You claimed to be our friend, REALLY???

by Donna
(texas)

This is kinda of long so I apologize up front but I've got to get this out, I feel so betrayed.

I worked with a guy at Walmart for 3-4 years on and off. Bryan also worked with him at the same time for about a year. Every one knew how much in love Bryan and I were with each other. So I can not believe what this guy has done. He was divorced and his 13 year old daughter was a spoiled, controlling BRAT. Every time that she got mad at her mom or her moms new husband she would move back in with her dad. Every women that he was interested in she either ran off or made him break up with her. I told him that he needs to put his foot down and make her stop or one day she is going to move out and he's going to be all alone. Well guess what? It happened and I guess he went off the deep end feeling sorry for himself. He called me one day about 3 weeks after Bryan died, crying about it and comparing me and Bryan to him and his ex-wife. He said that he knew how I felt. How dare he, how could he have the audacity to do or say that. His ex-wife did not die she CHOSE to leave him, Bryan did not. If Bryan could have stayed he would still be here.
Well I have avoided both him in town and his numerous phone calls. What is so hard to understand, someone doesn't answer your calls that usually means they don't want to talk to you.
Well months have gone by and my two daughters and I were shopping at Walmart and I was talking to two friend of mine that work there. All of a sudden he runs up and hugs me. All he said was I've missed you how are you doing now? Well it took me all of 5 seconds to get the hell away from him and as I ran off I told my oldest daughter to handle this for me. About 5 minutes later she found me and said that she told him that I still wasn't talking to anyone but family. What a lie.

I went back to the store the next day and went back over to see my friend. She asked me if he was hitting on me, that thats what it looked like to her and the manager that I was talking to. I told her that if he ever made the mistake and did that again that I was going to bring him to his knees.

HOW DARE HE, I thought that he was my (our) friend. I feel so betrayed. Now I don't want to go to town for anything for fear that he will do this again. I'm just thankful that there were people around when he did this. I don't need or want anyone but my daughters and grandkids around me anymore. But I know that I can't do that, I have people who are depending on me to take them places as I am the only one with a drivers license and vehicle. Also, I am trying really hard to get out and start doing the little things again, I know that is what I need to do. Bryan I need your help to overcome this oh no another anxiety attack.

Thank you all for reading, I wouldn't be able to survive as well as I am if it wasn't for this site and the wonderful caring people who post on it. It has become my lifeboat in life. So I go one step one breath one second at a time Bryan I love you forever until we meet again

Comments for
You claimed to be our friend, REALLY???

Click here to add your own comments

What the !@#$% jsut happened?!!
by: Anonymous

Yesterday an "acquaintance?" stopped by to check the voltage from a apparently dead socket. It was an odd thing with a cord coming out of it and probably was there since 1947 when the house was built. I thought nothing of it when he stopped by to check it. When I hugged him goodbye he...hugged me grabbing my butt, then kissing my neck.

I was so out of practice, overwhelmed and shocked that I had to ask a neighbor if he was hitting on me? Oh yeah he sure was. I thought why is this old geezer hitting on me? He knows I am a widow and still totally tore up from my husbands death.

The next day my work associates said oh he's quite a catch, he's only 58 and later told me that he owned his own house. None of that mattered and now I guess when he stops by I'll stay on the porch. If these advances continue Ill have to be blunt and truthful. Always worried about peoples feelings that does not come easy. But this is one thing that I need to nip in the bud.

I thought that only young men were stupid enough to think that someone being nice meant being interested. Some things never change I guess...

So Betrayed....
by: TrishJ

Donna~
The same thing happened to me. One of my husband's best friends "hit on me" only 7 weeks after Joe passed away. He was a friend of my husband's for over 30 years and both of my children are very familiar with him. My son kept telling me I was taking things wrong. He said this person knew how devastated I was by my husband's death and he was just being a good friend. I've been out of the dating scene for the last 38 years (I was 19 when I met my husband) so I'm a little out of practice in the man department.

I said, "No I think he has everything but friendship on his mind." When it became apparent what his intentions were everyone in my life was thoroughly disgusted with him. I was so hurt by his lack of consideration for my husband and I. He actually began telling me that he and I being together was what Joe wanted and that we had Joe's blessings. I knew that wasn't true. My husband would've told him to keep on stepping if he even thought of speaking to him about moving in on me after his death. I'm very hurt because I thought I could depend on this person as a friend.
I want nothing to do with a man who is so insensitive and ignorant that he would think I had romance on my mind after 7 weeks. I was still in a state of shock at that point.
Some men are just pigs. We stay away from them. I've said I won't settle for anything less than what I had with Joe and I couldn't even think of a relationship with anyone for a few more years. I have to heal myself first. NO...that is not a friend. Stay away!!!
Peace and Love

Who is Safe?
by: Dakota Blues

I find in my grief from my daughters death that I, too...am on "high alert!" It has been 3 years now (suicide) and I may be a teeny weeny bit starting to calm down and not be so afraid of people - comments and questions.

Quite a few people the past few years have made comments that they knew how I was feeling or it was time to move on. I have learned that these comments are out of love for me but I had to learn to ignore them - let go and thank God that they don't know.

Like you...there are a couple people that I have to flat out avoid. The grieving heart has a right to surround themselves with people who calm us down, not stir us up!! We need to place ourselves around those we consider...SAFE! Hugs~

you claimed to be our friend, REALLY??
by: jules

Donna - what an artificial person this man is - how can he compare his situation with yours? How dare he harass you, pretend to be your friend, make you feel so uncomfortable, he has no right to do this.
One thing you must do though, is not let him intimidate you into not going places you want to, in case you run into him.
You must not give him the satisfaction of pretending to other people about your relationship - if you do run into him again, and he tries the same thing haul off and slap him, hard! Tell him to leave you alone - loudly!

remember - every day, one step, one breath
take care
jules

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How?
Simply click here to return to Lost Spouse/ True Love

SBI!

POPULAR RESOURCES

Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief Program

You claimed to be our friend, REALLY???

Comments for You claimed to be our friend, REALLY???

Comments for
You claimed to be our friend, REALLY???