you grew old so fast and in a blink of a eye you were gone
by greg ogdon
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my little payton of 13 years old died on 7/13/2011. he was a boston terrier. during payton's life he had some health issues(mini strokes, blindness, sinus issues, getting sick after eating), but he always recovered. on the 13th i went to work like i normally do and when i arrived home later than normal. i figured to see payton raise his head up from under his blanket on his little dog bed. when he wasn't there i started yelling for him as i ran thru out the house. i found my buddy under the pooltable. when i pick him up he just died in my arms. i tried to help him, but i didn't know what to do. he had over 20 strokes thru his life and always came out of it by just holding and petting him and telling him that i loved him with all my heart. this time i was helpless. i feel so much pain for not being home sooner. if i would have been home earlier i probably could have helped him. maybe he was just choking on his food and patting him on the back seemed to always helped or i wasn't there to help him thru his stroke like i usually was. i quit taking payton to the vet over 2 years ago when two different vets told me that my dog was going blind and with his other issues he was to old to do anything about it, and that i might need to think about putting him down.i feel that i've let my dog down in so many ways. i just wish i could say sorry. i didn't know he was going to die. i should have at least taken to a vet to be looked at. it was easy to see that he was getting old, but he got around just fine even know he was blind.i love payton. my life is empty with out you, i can't quit crying. i am going so lonely without him.