You left me and I lived. You died and I died.

Over the last couple years I went through pain as someone I truly loved moved on with their life. There were many painful things in that including being replaced, feeling old, feeling financially violated. But love remained the same. Then when things went bad for my former love that I still obviously loved I was actually sad for them. It became clear to me their happiness was still important to me even though they had chosen a new path. Then when they entered a place of despair and sought me out again for support I tried hard to be there for them. It was somewhat prolonged with their health problems, job and money problems, and broken heart extending close to 6 months. They did hit bottom. Love remained the same. I also had a trauma in my life and was unable to make an appointment to meet up with my dear friend and love and they killed themself the next day. My world crashed and here 5 months later I still ache. I feel guilty I let them down. I feel the loss of someone I realize I was hoping to have in my life even if just a little bit until I was old old old. I do not know how to love a dead person so much. This has never happened to me and I feel as if I too am dead.

Comments for You left me and I lived. You died and I died.

Click here to add your own comments

Jun 17, 2012
I'm sorry
by: MeMe

I am so sorry for your loss! Jesus I know the pain and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'll keep in my prayers dear heart

Jun 17, 2012
You left me and lived-I died
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Lonely broken heart,
I am sorry for the tragedy you faced when the one you loved committed suicide and left you broken and sad. A suicide affects the grief greatly and you will probably need Bereavement counselling support to help you through this tragedy. 5 months is not enough to move forward in grief but with support you can cope better. When someone dies by suicide it is a sudden death and will affect the grief. I lost my husband to lung cancer and nursed him 3yrs.39days and it was painfull to see someone slip away and know they are going to die and you cannot take this pain away. The grief is great from this type of suffering. My husband died 6 weeks ago. You are never quite prepared for loss and when it comes you wonder how you will survive as each day you struggle. I went out and bought grief books to work my way through and I keep a journal and write a letter to my husband Steve every day and let him know how I feel and what is going on around me and how i miss him being here. I am all alone now with paying bills and trying to make ends meet.
I hope that life gets better for you in the days ahead and that you will get the support you need.
You see my nephew committed suicide 5 years ago. He was on medication that caused suicidal feelings and he threw himself in front of an express train, and our lives were never the same again. My sister was mad with grief and needed to work with a bereavement counsellor and she is in a better place today and she is a great support to me with the loss of my husband. Support is so necessary when facing this type of grief. Best wishes for the future and I hope you are able to feel a bit better with the support on this website.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!