You must live for their memory

by Colleen
(South Africa)

I am so tired of being told that I must carry on in Bruce's memory. I do not want to carry on in Bruce's memory, I want him here. I was looking through the photos last night and it dawned on me that in every photo taken from now on there will be no Bruce in them.

I do not want a life in his memory or because he would want me to go on all I want is my boring life back. Every day takes me further away from him.

Bruce you are my life and I miss you more than words can express.

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Jan 20, 2011
you must live for their memory
by: jules

Colleen - I know how your heart is aching, 14 months down the track, I have moments when I fall backwards, but mostly my life is forward now. I can feel myself moving away from John and the life we had together - I loved that life, especially the traveling part of it - I loved his capability - I loved his strength, his resourcefulness.

But, now I have to rely on my own capability, my own strength, and my own resources. I am doing this because I know I have to (not because I want to) - but I am here, I don't have John to rely on, so I must make my own way in life.

one step, one breath,
take care
jules

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