You never know when will be the last time you meet so treasure her.
My mum died 21 months ago - I found her body on Mother's Day 2012, when I was due to go out for meal with her, and my brother could get no reply from her on the phone. I (and neighbours) had to break in to her house as she had left the key in the locked door, as normal. I had seen her the week before, when we went on a shopping trip, and although we had never been a family who 'hugged' or showed overt affection, seeing her standing there with her normal smile and cheery but anxious words, 'Drive carefully, love', I had an overwhelming urge to hug her little frame, but resisted because I thought she would be embarrassed. When I found her on that dreadful Mother's Day, she did not look 'peaceful' and subsequently I was advised not to view her body at the undertakers because she had deteriorated so much (there was a long delay whilst a post-mortem was performed). I just keep wanting to see her face how she was on that last 'normal' day, but can't. I only have the rare photo I found to put on the service sheet for her funeral - she hated having her photo taken but this was a lovely picture. I sometimes feel that I can cope with it all - after all, it is a 'normal' thing for your parents to die before you, isn't it? - but it doesn't actually work like that, does it? Mum had a long life (85 years) but I still feel that she went too soon - everyone who has lost a beloved mum or dad will feel that. I talk to her (and dad) every day - sometimes it makes me cry but somehow I feel that they are giving me the strength to get through the worst times. Lots of things 'happen' - a song from my childhood that I hadn't heard for years on the radio, a red admiral butterfly (mum had red hair) fluttering into the house and me rescuing it, white feathers falling at my feet, 3 cats 'adopting' me so that I had someone to take care of ...lots of things that have given me comfort. Take comfort where you can - the regrets I have are huge - I am just glad that mum and I shared a laugh in those last few moments. But regret not hugging her.