ME AND MY MOM WERE NOT REALLY CLOSE EVEN THOUGH I WAS AN ONLY CHILD. NOW I AM 62 YRS. OLD AND SHE HAS DIED. WE KEPT IN TOUCH BY PHONE, SOMETIMES SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME BECAUSE I MOVED TO ANOTHER STATE AND SHE DIDN'T LIKE THAT. SHE ONLY VISITED ONCE IN 15 YRS. WHEN SHE GOT SICK I WANTED HER TO COME TO LIVE WITH ME, I TOLD HER WE COULD LIVE HERE OR SHE COULD GO TO A RETIREMENT HOME, WE COULD GET A NEW PLACE, WHATEVER SHE WANTED. I SAID I WOULD DO ALL THE WORK, PACK EVERYTHING AND COME FOR HER. NO, SHE WOULDN'T DO IT. SHE TOLD ME TO GET RID OF ALL MY STUFF AND MOVE WITH HER TO MY CHILDHOOD HOME. I COULDN'T DO THAT BECAUSE MY JOB AND FRIENDS AND GRANDKIDS WERE HERE AND I COULDN'T LEAVE THEM. SO IN HER LAST YEAR EVEN THOUGH WE KEPT IN TOUCH SHE WAS ALWAYS MAD. STILL I CALLED HER AND TRIED TO KEEP IN TOUCH AS BEST AS SHE WOULD LET ME. I GOT A CALL THAT SHE WAS IN INTENSIVE CARE SO I WENT TO SEE HER. I TOLD HER I LOVED HER WHICH IS AN UNHEARD OF THING TO SAY IN MY FAMILY, I HUGGED HER AND SAID I WOULD BE BACK AT SOME TIME. SHE SAID "OK". WHEN SHE WENT HOME TO HOSPICE I MADE PLANS TO SEE HER BUT SHE DIED BEFORE I COULD. FOR ME I HAD CLOSURE WHEN I TOLD HER I LOVED HER. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO NICE TO HEAR THAT FROM HER. NOW SHE IS GONE AND I THINK ABOUT HER IN A GOOD WAY, SHE DID WHAT SHE COULD I GUESS. IT DOESN'T MATTER, SHE WAS MY MOTHER. GOOD BY MOM, KNOW I THINK OF YOU AND DON'T BLAME YOU AT ALL.
