Your rights as a widow/ widower

by Hope

Just when you think that you can take no more...The creditors start calling. They want the money from Hospital bills, ambulance rides, credit cards, yadda yadda yadda.

Let me tell you, I avoided those calls for a year! an entire YEAR. And those no good sorry SOB's called me NIGHT and DAY. They were relentless. Every time I would hear this call is for ____________ regarding so and so it made me ill. After a while I just turned the phone ringer off. I would check messages every few days.

We were about to file bankruptcy when My Love died... The Laws may be different from state to state however, I was told that I...

AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BILLS WITH MY HUSBANDS NAME ON IT. So...If it was HIS bill and he is dead, he cannot pay it. I am NOT responsible for bills in HIS name.

And, after being harrassed day and night I began to take these calls. After a Year of torture listening to the estate of____________. All I had to do is tell them that he is deceased and that I am NOT responsible for his bills.

My God! for a year I listened and cried. Cussed them out became insane with grief.

Just tell them it is NOT your bill and you will NOT pay it.....

I think that I just received my last call from medi-credit. Now I can answer the phone again...

Comments for Your rights as a widow/ widower

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Sep 02, 2014
thank you all
by: elaine

you all gave me some peace of mind that i will only be responsible only for my medical bills. not my dear husbands. my monthly social security check is over$700 less & there was no pension or insurance. the bills keep coming though & of course the calls. i also had to have my husband cremated without a service because i couldn't afford it i'm not well either thank you all for giving me hope elaine

Oct 03, 2012
Your rights as a widow/widower
by: silver

I finally called one of the dr's offices about one of my husband's bills and luckily they were very nice. I told them I lived on Soc.Sec. and I was unable to pay them right now. The lady asked about an estate and I told her:"yeah! 1/2 interest in the trailer we own.She told me not to worry that she would take care of the bill. I am hoping to do that with the other bills.I just began doing this in the last few weeks and my husband died 16 months ago.So I understand where you stand. sending love and prayers your way.GOD bless you and give you strength

Aug 08, 2012
Is my 86 yo dad in Alabama responsible for Moms final hospital bills??
by: Missy

I am trying to help my dad get his billings and stuff set up automatically because he can no longer read and write as well as he used to but he has hospital bills from my mom passing in December of 2011. She was in and out of the hospital several times and the last time she came out, she died the next day. He has huge bills that he cannot afford and we do not have any money to help with. What is the procedure in this matter? Who do I talk to and what do I say and will they even talk to me? Any help is appreciated. It was hard enough just losing my mom.....

Jan 06, 2012
going down the same road

My Husband died the 15th of December. We were living off his social security and pension and raising our 12 year old Grandson. His social security stopped and i can't get it till i turn 60. And that won't be for seven months. I can get his pension. That is only 750.00 a month. How are we suppose to come up with the money for our house payments? bills and food? They need to let us keep getting the social security. We can't just run out and get a job. That law needs to be changed. I guess I will just stay in my house till they kick me out. Good luck and God Bless all of us.

Jan 30, 2011
Social security nightmare
by: Sandy

My husband of 33 years passed away 4 months ago. not only am I in the early stages of the grief process, social security is threatening to stop my benefits. They claim my husband was over paid and I must pay back almost $10,000 in 30 days. social security is my only source of income. my husband had no life insurance, therefore I could not afford a proper funeral. I had to have him cremated and brought his ashes home. Sometimes I feel as if I am going insane. has anyone else experienced this problem with social security? I have appealed, but haven't heard anything. please help if you have any advice.

Jan 20, 2011
Know exactly what you feel!
by: Cindy

I know how all of you feel. My husband has been gone for two months, and I have all these bills and have no job. He was my only income and now I am just about too old to get a job. I have a mortgage payment and bills to pay and no income. It is bad enough to have all the grief, but to have all the bills that you can't pay is more than you can take.

My husband was 10 years older than me and was old enough for social security, but they won't give it to me until I am 60. That is just not fair. That law needs to be changed... I am so stressed. I have my house for sale, but the market is so terrible and then I don't know where I will go if I sold it. I pray that the government could help, but nobody seems to care.

Jan 16, 2011
S.O.Bs 8 A.M- 9 P.M everyday
by: Anonymous

Again, I ask I plead for you to make sure ABSOLUTELY sure that you need to pay Hubby's bills. Bills with his name only. People will make you THINK that you are responsible and in grief we pay a little to this person and that person just to get them to shut up!

Please talk to an actual financial advisor or lawyer that KNOWS the law. I was told to ignore all calls and I did for a year. That only bills in MY name were to be paid. It was sheer torture every damn day. But after a year I thought I have had enough. Most calls are recorded and automatic.

Trans world creditors tormented me Every day and Night. Yet when I finally called the # and asked are you the ones that have harassed me every damn day for a year? They said No... that they would take me off the list. I screamed at this woman YOU HAVE TOO!

She said why didn't you answer the phone for a year? I said have you ever heard of grief?!!
And as I was about to unload a year of anger, she said I'll take care of this and hung up on me.

After that every creditor call became a battle for me that I was not only willing but pissed off to take on all battles.

They know that widows are weak, hurt and lost and certainly take advantage of this.

Strength to you all in the emotional financial battle we all face...

Jan 15, 2011
I understand
by: Jackie

Hi Hope, I love that name, it means so much to all of us now. I understand your financial worries. Just three weeks before my husband died, my father died. Because my father lived frugally most of his life, I inherited enough money to ensure that I would be able to take of myself and my children. I am forever thankful. I am sorry you are having so much trouble, it is hard enough to deal with your husband's passing and add all of the other is too much for anyone to bear. As a recent widow I have learned that in my state I am responsible to pay my husband's bills. Each state should be the same. I hope and pray that you will be alright. My prayers are with you.

Jan 15, 2011
Know your rights
by: Colleen

I am pleased for you that you are not responsible for your husbands bills. In South Africa if you are married in community of property (Which we were) I am responsible for the medical bills. All I do is put them in a pile and whoever shouts the loudest gets a part payment. As long as I pay something there is not a thing they can do. I do not care if it takes me ten years to pay the bills. They did nothing for Bruce.

Jan 15, 2011
relentless creditors
by: Judy

I can completely understand you!

I was blessed, and continue to be blessed, by Bear having Tricare. That combined with his Medicare covered all the the thousands of dollars of his final illness. However, there are other debts!

Bear loved the good life and he loved to shower me with little gifts, eat out, add to his collections etc. After he died I discovered that he had credit debts in a ghastly amount. He always paid bills etc and when I'd ask can we afford this he always said yes, or you only live once or you deserve a break you work so hard and I chose to believe him.

Being the "good girl" that I am, when the creditors called I got on the phone, crying, and said "I can't pay this. Are you going to take my house?" A kind collector informed me early on that I wasn't responsible for bills in his name, and explained that they would call for a few months and then just keep searching for an estate to be filed. Then she gently said, "We don't want your house."

It took about three months but the letters and calls stopped. I actually feel a little guilty about this since I was raised to pay my bills and be responsible. But household income dropped by $1500 per month and I could barely cover my mortgage, which at the time was more than one of my paychecks. I'd cut back everywhere, dropped my beloved newspaper, still had a car payment etc so there was really no other choice for me.

Let the experience of Hope and myself be a learning lesson for you who are newer in grief.
Don't let the creditors push you around or make you agree to things you can't afford to do. We have to depend on ourselves now, vulnerable as we often are in the early days. We are strong, we have survived the biggest loss in life and we can do it!

Jan 15, 2011
your rights as a widow
by: Donna

Thank you so much for that info, maybe now I can answer the phone again.

Jan 14, 2011
Insistant callers your rights
by: Linda

You are lucky you live where you do as my darling husband passed away 4 weeks ago tomorrow and I as his wife am liable for ALL his debt and I mean ALL!!

As if it's not bad enough losing him I have that to deal with.

I remember what its like when the phone rings constantly and the people on the other end dont give a $$$#@ of your situation!
I wish you well and hope you have days where you can smile........even for a second

Jan 14, 2011
Thank You
by: PatJ

Thank you so much. My husband passed away while waiting for a heart transplant 6 weeks ago. His initial heart attack was in May 2007. He had 3 major surgeries, numerous ambulance rides, lengthy hospital (ICU) stays, the last day of his life he was helicoptered (flight for life) to Milwaukee from our home in Illinois. I have been just ignoring the calls and mail. I can barely make it through the day at this point. We ended up at three different hospitals, final hospital being the University of Chicago.

There was no way I could get a secondary insurance to supplement the disability Medicare (due to his medical condition), and I have been fretting over whether these bills were my responsibility or not. We owed $20,000.00 in bills prior to the last day and the helicopter transport. I will check to make sure about Illinois but thank you so much for sharing this. You give me new found strength in dealing with this. God bless.

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