You're the lucky ones.
I envy you all. The love of my life slept with someone else and left me. I wish I could cling to happy memories of her by my side. I pray I could hold our lives in my hand like a precious, little snow globe and marvel at how perfect and complete it was. I would do anything to go to sleep at night knowing she loved me until her dying day, believing that we would be together again someday on some ethereal plane. But I don't have the luxury. I have self-loathing for the mistakes I may have made to drive her away; they rip apart my brain and tear at my insides every waking second. And I don't sleep. I have visions of her with someone else, eyes shut, mouth agape, tight in his arms; they douse me in gasoline, light me on fire and there I burn and I burn and I burn. My past collapsed when she left. In its place fear, regret and shame. Endlessly I think of what I could have done differently. Endlessly I turn the trinkets of our memories over and over in my hands, looking for some new angle that I missed the first million times. My future evaporated when she left. The dreams of her hand in mind on our wedding day, of her smile when our child was born, all replaced with nightmares where I have been hastily replaced by some monster, my face cut from the picture, edges jagged and torn and someone else's horrid grin there, taped in place and poorly aligned. You can sleep at night believing your love is in a better place, not in the sweat-soaked sheets of some wretch who will never care for her one iota as much a you do. You can seal that purity in a small, heart-shaped box and hang it around your neck like a memento for the rest of your days. You can smile and reminisce. You found something beautiful, and were lucky enough to have it taken before it withered and rotted before your very eyes. Your relationship can warm you on a cold winter day. Mine sears and scars with every painfully drawn breath as I immolate in the abyss. Cherish your memories. Cherish that innocence. Cherish that love. There are those that would die for it.