Zachary Ryan Shouse

by Thomas Shouse
(Phoenix, Arizona, USA)

Fantastic Young Man

Fantastic Young Man

I lost my son last week, July 12th, 2010, suddenly and unexpectedly. Even the Medical Examiner does not know what happened. He was 27, the most amazing man. Full of life, anticipation, joy, and at the same time facing hurricane challenges courageously, with ferocity.

Now I am lost without him. I can't even focus at times. I truly do not know how I am going to continue, no longer seeing him, spending time together, long talks, laughing at big jokes.

He did everything on a grand scale, big. Especially how he loved. He taught me more about love, how you go about loving. Loving every thing, everyone, every moment. Next he taught me how to bear a burden with grace. He had this gentle spiritual aspect, yet when he played, he played hard.

He accomplished what he came to this world to do. He is gone now. I know he wants me to finish my work here, too, and it may be a long time before I see him again. How long is now? The past is gone, the future is a myth, all I have is the here and now with memories, and a legacy of big things to do.

Comments for Zachary Ryan Shouse

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Apr 29, 2011
i can't believe it
by: Katie

Hi Mr. Shouse,

I actually dated your son for awhile in Arizona. I'm happily married now and living in another state. Every now and again I'd google his name to see what was going on with him. I spent some time with his grandfather in Arizona too. I can't believe it's over a year later and I am just finding out...I just can't believe he is gone. I am so sorry.

Aug 26, 2010
I feel your pain
by: Anonymous

I lost my 26 year old son in May of 2010. I will never forget that morning. We normally would talk just about every day. The day before he passed away, I tried to call and he didn't answer or return my calls. It was then , that I knew something wasn't right. The following morning I found out that he had passed away in his sleep. After waiting 6 weeks for the autopsy results, I learned he had an enlarged heart. This was never diagnosed and we had no major reason to have him tested along the way , in his young adulthood.

Each day , there are memories and since then , there have been times when I am right back in the moment of that terrible morning when I found out I had spoken to him for the last time. ( until I again join him someday ). It hasn't gotten much easier , but I am moving forward in life, somehow !

Know that you are not alone and that others can relate to what you are going through. Try and remember all of the great memories and cherish the time you did spend together. He was my oldest son , who passed away. The bond between an oldest son and his father is something that is hard to convey to others. There is something about hearing your son call you " DAD". It's hard to explain. I am grateful for the 26 years I did have with him.
Peace be with you !

Aug 25, 2010
Sorry for you loss
by: Dianna

I also know your pain. We lost our daughter on Feb 24, 2010. She died in her sleep. The medical report came back that she had ARVD a very rare heart disease. This is the most painful thing we have experienced in our life. It has been 6 months and we seem to miss her more and more.

Aug 08, 2010
by: Valerie

My deepest condolences and prayers are with your family during this sad time of loss. I am so, so sorry for what you are experiencing. I went to elementary school & 1 year of high school with Zach. The memories I have of him are wonderful - which makes this impactful in my life... and inspires me to write. He was a very friendly, positive, intelligent person - and I was lucky to be one of his friends. I pray that the God of our Universe will carry you through this. I hope that you will lean on Him & be comforted by our Heavenly Father. We may never understand why his life was cut so sort... Philippians 4:7 says, "Then you will experience the PEACE, which exceeds anything we can understand." I pray, wholeheartedly for you today that you will experience that PEACE that God our Father promises. HE is with you. Lean on HIM.

Jul 29, 2010
Loss of Zachary
by: Anonymous

Dear Thomas,

You write with a deep heart of a father, overwhelmed in pain and love for the son you've lost. I grieve with you. I know the pain of loss from a mother's viewpoint. It is so intense and deep that you wonder if there is a bottom. I have watched my husband grieve for his buddy, our 30 year old son died by suicide almost 5 years ago. The pain still flashes across his face. We will always miss them. If you would like to correspond, here is my email: We can talk about how time changes things. Blessings, Gracie

Jul 26, 2010
Lose of your child
by: Sharyl

I know exactly what you are going through, I lost my 26 year old son without any warning on March 13, 2010. We waited 7 weeks for the autopsy results thinking somehow it would help to have a "cause of death". Apparently he had an enlarged heart that no one knew he had and it just gave out.

Like your son he enjoyed life to it's fullest and we were very close. For me time is not helping, I miss him more each day. Each day is a roller coaster, you smile at the memories but each day also brings tears for what you and your son will now miss out on forever. Try to be strong!

Jul 22, 2010
I worked with your son
by: Anonymous

Zac and I were coworkers at a few different Scout Camps many years ago. I am a year older than him, and a good bit taller, but he is someone I have always looked up to. He made a big impact on so many people, including folks lIke me, folks you never knew and who live on the other side of the country. It was his big heart that brought us all together.

Jul 21, 2010
Loss of Son
by: Anonymous

I lost my 27 year old son on May 21, 2010. I know our pain. Know that you are not alone.

Jul 21, 2010
my thoughts are with you
by: Kay australia

I am so sad to hear of the loss of your precious son Zachary. Only a mother who has lost a child can understand the overwhelming sadness and emptiness and shock. I too lost my wonderful young son aged 23 May 11,2010. I feel like I cannot go on the pain, it is so intense, but I know our boys would want us to try and live our lives again....I don't have any answers, only to take one day at a time. My prayers are with you and I send you healing xxx

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