My two sons, Mark 25.4.76-11.4.2016 Matthew 6.10.77-1.4.2009

by Maria Kirk
(Leeds, England)

At times my heart will sing and at times my heart becomes heavy with the tears that erupt within.

I search to find answers to questions that I have searched for before, only to realize there are no answer, I have to find them myself.

To have lost one son was hard to lose another isn't any harder, the pain only starts again.

The faith I found with Matthew's loss went when I lost Mark.

My mind is muddled, it cannot find sense or reason.

I live second by second.

The only comfort been one day my ashes will be spread with yours. Until that day, I will try my best to live for all three of us.



Comments for My two sons, Mark 25.4.76-11.4.2016 Matthew 6.10.77-1.4.2009

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Mar 20, 2018
The Place Where you Lay
by: Mum

Where ever we decided to place your bodily ashes
It had to be a wonderful place
Full of the joys of the seasons
A place were you would get light and shade
Where you would be warmed by the evening sun and the winters rays

It didn’t take long to find
A piece of ground with dappled shade
Not windy nor sunny just right for you to lay
Ivy, daffodils and a primrose to mark your last resting place
A joyful place for you to stay

We said our good byes with tears of love
We blessed the ground on which your ashes were placed
A place were we can go and cry and speak words of love
The last resting place that will be forever your little piece of land


Feb 01, 2018
Give me Time
by: Maria Kirk

Give me time

Give me time to come to terms with a death I didn’t want
Give me time to work out what I need to do and when
Don’t look at me with pity, look at me and think how well I’m doing
Don’t say I won’t be bad again, because we both know I will
Give me time, not a little, but loads and when I’ve taken the time you think I might need, give me more, because that is what I need
If I want to sit and stare at the wall, let me sit and stare
Don’t expect me to laugh, when I really want to cry
Don’t try to understand, because you will never understand, unless it’s happened to you
Just give me time and let me grieve like I want to
Always expect the unexpected, that is the way my life is now

Nov 23, 2017
Will I remember you
by: Maria Kirk

I wrote this on the 28th September 2009. Today over eight years later, I realise I will never forget Matthew. In the same way I know I will never forget Mark either.

Will I remember you

In years to come will I remember you
Will I remember your face, hair, eyes
Will I be able to hear your voice in my head
Will I remember all about you

Can I remember how you used to walk
The way you dressed, the clothes you loved
The books you so liked to read will I remember all these
Or will my memories grow fainter as the years grow older

‘When my mind fades and my eye sight goes
When my hair becomes white like the falling snow
When it’s time for the closing of my days
And you reach out your hands to take me to pastures new
Will I remember it’s you?’

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