I started dateing my husband at just 17 . By 18 i was pregnant and anyway went on to have more children . We have 3 sons. We have had a massive rollercoaster relationship. Its been real sad and real fun . Then nearly 22 years later he left me . We had split before but always managed to sort it out and if im honest i knew this time felt different . Anyway its been nearly 2 years since he left yet i seem to be still waiting on him coming home. I have cried every night since he gone and i have no idea how to let go. He was and sort of still is my rock , best friend soul mate . I miss him holding my hand and feeling safe. I just cant let go . Of course we still speak and see each other as after such a long relationship obviously its hard . We have kids too . Please tell me im not alone as at moment i feel im the only person in the world that feels like this after nearly 2 years of seperation .

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Oct 31, 2014
Not So
by: Judith in California

You are not alone in the alone from being left department. But you need to focus on why you miss someone who left you . No he is not your rock he left you for someone else. No he is not your soulmate ..a soulmate does not do this to someone he vowed to love ,honor and cherish. He did none of those things. He disrespected you and you are disrespecting yourself by sitting around missing someone who hurt you. Yes, it's hard to have that happen and then to come to terms as to why.

The best thing for you to do is to focus on yourself and get back your self esteem and vow to never let any man treat you with anything other than respect and genuine caring.

You have wasted 2 years sitting around missing someone who doesn't give a darn if you're okay. Please don't waste another precious day on him.
I hope you get a new perspective and move on with creating better days for you.

Oct 31, 2014
by: Doreen UK

It is so very difficult when a marriage ends when one has been together for so long. You establish a bond. Then there are the other emotional ties like knowing their little ways, and how they think, and how comfortable you feel with him, and then it is all snatched away so quickly. Planning for being together in retirement and knowing this will never happen now.
You are going through the same emotions and feelings as if he died. Separation anxiety is so very difficult to deal with. You go through feelings of terrible loss and insecurity.
Letting go is the hardest thing to do, and I think is not something that you can do immediately, or any time soon. It takes time. Having a plan and some interest in life helps one move forward. Just don't drift into each day with no FOCUS as this will make it difficult to let go. Start with a clean slate and take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Discover who you are, and what you want out of life. I know you never wanted your FREEDOM. But now is a time to discover this and make it work to your advantage. You also have 3 sons which is an advantage because you still have this MALE protection, as I am sure your sons will always look out for you. If they marry and you make your daughters-in-law your friends you will always have Love and laughter in your life. You will also one day have grandchildren to crown your happiness. It will never make up or equal what you have lost. But putting NEW and lovely experiences in your life will help you to grow and move forward better. You can also take up a few sessions of grief counselling to enable you to move forward from being STUCK in the place you are in right now.
I lost my husband of 44yrs to cancer 2yrs. ago and I am just starting to move forward. I have more memories of him now and wish he could come back.
At the moment I am having to watch my father die a slow death like my husband. It just re-visits the grief and losing my husband. Just when one is feeling the healing I have to go through this all again. There is no easy ride in life. But one just learns to pick themselves up and start each new day with FRESHNESS and a different approach. Put friends and family at the forefront of your life right now. It is so easy to get stuck in why your relationship ended and wanting it back. But you can make a good life now. It is all about PERSPECTIVE and FOCUS. This is how I cope each day. ONE DAY AT A TIME.

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